That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'

Two and a Half Men 7×10

& Alan: I’m not depressed.
    Jake: Really? Why not?
    Alan: What have I got to be depressed about?
    Jake: You’ve been divorced twice, you live on your brother’s couch... and your only child is flunking tenth grade.
    Alan: You’re flunking tenth grade? When did this happen?
    Jake: Easy, dude. I think you got bigger things to worry about.

& Charlie: Alan, think it through. If she’s not interested in my money, then why is she marrying me?
    Alan: I have no idea.
    Charlie: Exactly. We may have to consider the possibility that Chelsea’s insane.

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& Charlie: Alan.
    Alan: What?! What’s wrong?
    Charlie: Chelsea and I had a fight.
    Alan: I’m sorry. You wanna talk about it?
    Charlie: I just did. Now go sleep on the couch.
    Alan: If you had the fight, why do I have to sleep on the couch?
    Charlie: You ever hear of crap rolling uphill? Get out!
    Alan: Just using the word “please” would go such a long way with me.
    Charlie: Fair enough... Please get out before I pull your pajama bottoms up so far... you’ll be wearing your balls as a bolo tie.
    Alan: There, was that so hard?

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