Storming the Castle

Arrested Development 1×9

& Lindsay: Leather chair? So, you’re against stealing, but skinning cows is cool with you.
    Maeby: Since when are you against leather? You’re not even a vegetarian.
    Lindsay: I’m not against the insides. People need meat to survive.
    Michael: You are aware they don’t remove it from the cow surgically, right?

& Lindsay: You’ll never be able to do it. You’re too good. You’re the noble one.
    Michael: Thank you.
    Lindsay: The one who never wins.
    Michael: I-I don’t know about that.
    Lindsay: The loser. The fool.

& Gob: Two chicks curl up in a box. We call one the head and one the legs.
    Michael: The top half there, what do you do about that?
    Gob: I just get a volunteer from the crowd. The old top half quit when she found out I was sleeping with the legs.

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& Michael: Damn it. l-I’m a saint, you know? I’m a living saint, and I get absolutely nothing out of it.
    Lindsay: Well, you get a false feeling of superiority.

& Marta: You really are a good guy, Michael.
    Michael: Well... you can’t change who you are.

& Lucille: Why is there a piece of shoe on your head?
    George Sr.: This is a... Well, it’s a reminder that the divine presence... is always above me.

& Cabdriver: Where to, mate?
    Tobias: The Gothic Castle.
    Cabdriver: Gothic Asshole?
    Tobias: That’s what I said.

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+ quotes on the IMDb