Two and a Half Men 4x4

A Pot Smoking Monkey

& Charlie: Okay, let’s look at the big picture. You’re a middle-aged guy who married a stupid woman half his age... for no other reason than the sex was great. You with me so far?
    Alan: Yeah.
    Charlie: Good. Then you ran out of money, she got bored and threw you out.
    Alan: What’s your point?
    Charlie: Why does everything need a point? Why can’t I just make fun of you?

& Charlie: Just out of curiosity, does this Wendy Cho hate her parents?
    Jake: I don’t think so. Why?
    Charlie: Just trying to get a handle on the relationship.
    Jake: She says she likes me because I’m unpretentious.
    Charlie: Do you know what that means?
    Jake: It means she likes me.

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& Charlie: Take him back to Kandi’s.
    Alan: I can’t.
    Charlie: Why not?
    Alan: It’s kind of complicated.
    Charlie: Then simplify it.
    Alan: Okay, well, um... I stole him.
    Charlie: Oh, Alan, I may think with my penis but at least I think.

& Alan: Just in case, hide Chester.
    Charlie: How am I supposed to hide him?
    Alan: Sit under him with a pail and pretend he’s a cow.

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On the Imdb.