Two and a Half Men 3x23

Arguments for the Quickie

& Charlie: Alan, when an ex-girlfriend calls, no good can come from it. Unless, you know, it’s 2 a.m., she’s blind drunk... and wants to get even with her new cheating boyfriend.
    Alan: She just wanted to invite us to the ballet.
    Charlie: Yeah, right. And girls are completely unaware... that you can see their nipples through their shirts.
    Alan: What does that have to..? Really, they know?!

& Charlie: There’s only a few reasons why an ex calls. One, they’re great, and wanna rub your nose in it. Or two, they’re doing lousy and need to borrow money.
    Berta: Three, they got money from knocking over a Laundromat... and wanna hide it under your trailer until the heat’s off... What? It happens.

& Charlie: Alan would’ve come, but he had to take the kids home.
    Mia: Kids?
    Charlie: He’s kind of adopted a young girl.
    Mia: Really?
    Charlie: Well, not so much adopted as banging.

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& Mia: This is a hard thing to ask...
    Charlie: You need some money.
    Mia: What? No.
    Charlie: So, what? You wanna get back together again?
    Mia: Oh, God no.
    Charlie: All right, then, how about a quickie for old times’ sake?
    Mia: Please. Charlie... I think you’re a terrific guy. You’re smart, you’re handsome, you’re talented.
    Charlie: All good arguments for the quickie.
    Mia: Will you let me finish?
    Charlie: Didn’t I always? Sorry. Sorry, go on.

& Alan: And you’re okay with it?
    Charlie: Well, why not? I’ve sent billions of soldiers out there. It’s time for one of them to finally take the hill.

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+ quotes on the Imdb.