Skins 1x1

Tony

Season 1, Episode 1

& Jim, Tony's Dad: Every fucking morning!


& Tony: Anyway, it's not that much to ask, Nips*. Sid's almost 17. He's gotta get laid before his birthday otherwise he can't be my friend, obviously.
    Jal: What the fuck are you talking about?!
    Tony: Sorry, Jal. Wrong call. Can you hold?
    Jal: No.
    Tony: Perhaps you could help out with Sid's cherry.
    Jal: I don't think so! You need someone deaf, blind and stupid for that.


& Tony: Party tonight. Sid's getting de-cherried*.
    Anwar: Chris promised Maxxie we're gonna go to his big gay night out.
    Tony: Is Chris gay?
    Anwar: No.
    Tony: Are you gay?
    Anwar: No. But Maxxie says there's gonna be lots of hot women there... desperate because there's nobody to shag - except for me and Chris.
    Tony: Anwar, you dippy twat. Sid's flying solo down the tunnel of love and he needs support, yeah?
    Anwar: Could we watch?
    Tony: Oh, Jesus!


& Tony: Alright, who's stupid enough to fuck Sid?
    Michelle: Cassie?


& Sid: Are we getting me laid or shall I just start filming and take it back for private time?

---

& Chris: What you been doing in Poshville Towers, eh?
    Tony: Broadening my horizons.
    Chris: Those girls do not do fickety fick with town scum like you. It doesn't matter what you can do with your muscles.
    Tony: 'I say this world extends way beyond this field of dreams. And I want to see that world.'
    Chris: What the fuck's he on about?
    Jal: He's quoting. It's a literary reference.
    Chris: What? You mean Shakespeare and shit?
    Jal: Dawson's Creek.


& Mad Twat 2 Sid: Three ounces... That's three hundred pounds of easy credit, so you've got 48 hours to pay me. ... Have you got balls? ... Yeah... I'm just checking, because your balls are your collateral*. You got me?


& Chris: Angie's phone... Stop ringing her, or you'll have me to deal with.
    Angie: Let me have it.
    Chris: Yep, Chris Miles here... Angie's friend. ... She's got friends, you know what I'm saying, you tosser*. ... Right. Yeah, yeah, I'll have the coursework in by Thursday. Are you saying I can have an extension?.. Yeah. And don't ring her again... bellend*! Sorted him out!


& Chris: Jesus. As big gay nights go... It's not that big.
    Maxxie: I'm sorry, guys. I just wanted to show you my world, you know.
    Chris: I'm definitely not turning gay.
    Anwar: Me neither. Nope.
    Maxxie: It can be a lot of fun. We had the Pontypool Mounted Police Formation Dance Team in last week... Hey, where you going?
    Chris: To find that party. All the boys are gay.
    Maxxie: Yeah? Are the girls gay too?
    Chris: Look, everyone's gay. Right, let's get the fuck out of here.


& Cassie: You fancy me?
    Sid: I... Sure, I...
    Cassie: But you really love Michelle.
    Sid: It shows?
    Cassie: Fucking right it shows. Anyway, she told me.


& Sid: Tony.
    Tony: Yes, Sid.
    Sid: Chris and that Polish girl... They got out of the car at the hospital, right?.. I mean, they got out before the harbour, yeah?..



-- Dict:
Nips = Hard nipples, visable through the shirt.
cherry = an inexperienced person; a novice
collateral — залог
tosser = another name for a Wanker (one who suffers from chronic masturbation)
bellend = British slang for the glans penis, or penis head


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