The Big Bang Theory 4x13

The Love Car Displacement

Season 4, Episode 13

& Peggy: Hey. So you guys ready to order?
    Sheldon: Since we come in every Tuesday night at 6:00 and order the same exact thing, and it's now 6:08, I believe your question not only answers itself but also stands alongside such other nonsensical queries as "Who let the dogs out?"* and, uh, "How are they hanging"*.
    Penny: Okay. So, the usual, with extra spit on Sheldon's hamburger.


& Amy: Since you're my best friend, I thought it would be a good bonding opportunity.
    Penny: I'm your best friend?!
    Amy: Don't you read my blog?
    Penny: Oh, don't feel bad. I never read Leonard's, and I used to sleep with him.


& Peggy: Just to be clear, when you guys say "spa," does that mean the same thing as when regular people say it?
    Leonard: Pretty much. Except we keep our shirts on in the sauna.


& Penny: You know, it is going to be difficult, but I'm going to cancel my plans so I can do this for my bestie*.
    Amy: Please don't touch my breasts!
    Penny: I... I wasn't going to.
    Amy: All right. I just want to establish boundaries.


& Penny: You know, for a smart guy, you really seem to have a hard time grasping the concept "don't piss off the people who handle the things you eat."
    Amy: That does seem to be a valid principle.
    Sheldon: I trust Penny will adhere to the "Official California Restaurant Workers' Solemn Oath* of Ethics and Cleanliness."
    Amy: I don't believe there's any such thing.
    Sheldon: You lied to me, Leonard?!

---

& Sheldon: In the lead car, driven by Leonard, will be... myself, Amy Farrah Fowler, and Penny.
    Amy: Yes! He had you in the other car, but I got you upgraded.
    Penny: Yay!
    Sheldon: She made the case that if we break down in the middle of nowhere, your Nebraska backwoods skills and brawny hands* will give us the best chance to survive in the wild.
    Penny: Brawny?
    Leonard: They're bigger than mine.


& Penny: So, Amy, I've been wondering, are you and Sheldon going to be sharing a room?
    Amy: No, we discussed it. We decided we didn't want to jeopardize our relationship by getting to know each other too well.
    Sheldon: Indeed. Nothing sours a friendship more than over-familiarity with someone's toilet routine.


& Howard: I was really looking forward to you and me... napping together in the hotel.
    Bernadette: Honey, if you're that tired, why don't you just take a nap here in the car?
No, see, it's not...
    Bernadette: Hang on. It's Leonard. Hi, Leonard.
Yeah, hi. Listen, I just got a text from Raj. He wanted me to tell you that when Howard says "nap," he means "sex."
    Bernadette: Thank you, Raj.


& Penny: I don't understand why you people just let him bully you like this. Someone should stand up to him. What's he going to do?.. {...} I can't believe you let him kick me out of the car.
    Howard: What could we do? He's the Travel Supervisor.


& Amy: So... girl talk?
    Penny: Um, sure. What do you got in mind?
    Amy: Do you subscribe to the Freudian theory of penis envy?
    Penny: Um, I never really thought about it.
    Amy: Why? Sometimes I think it might be nice to have one.
    Penny: Really?
    Amy: Not for sex, for convenience. You can't deny that, by comparison, our internal plumbing is extremely high maintenance.
    Penny: Again, I've never given it much thought.
    Amy: We have time now. Think about it.


& Leonard: So, how do you want to do this?
    Penny: Well, I'm not getting in bed with him.
    Leonard: Yeah, it is a little like getting into Dracula's coffin.


& Leonard: So we'll just call the middle here the Neutral Zone.
    Penny: The what?
    Leonard: Star Trek. You know, the Neutral Zone between the Federation and the Romulan Empire.
    Penny: Oh, okay. Just like old times.
    Leonard: Of course... sometimes the Federation and the Romulans would enter the Neutral Zone to negotiate a temporary truce.
    Penny: Sweetie, let me put this in a way you'll understand: from the waist down, my shields are up.
    Leonard: Got it, got it. ... But... We can do all kinds of stuff from the waist up, you know?
    Penny: Go to sleep!


& Sheldon: Please tell me you're not having coitus.
    Penny: We are not having coitus.
    Sheldon: Can you guarantee that it won't happen at any time during the night?
    Penny & Leonard: Yes! No!


& Sheldon: Good morning and welcome to Science and Society. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS, MA, PhD, and ScD. OMG, right? ... Perhaps that joke was a little too hippie-dippy* for this crowd.


& Sheldon: All right, why don't we see if we can bring this back to topic.
    Howard: Let me ask you something, Bernie...
    Sheldon: I guess not.
    Howard: How would you feel if you met my ex-girlfriend and she was like Angelina Jolie?
    Bernadette: Oh, come on, Howard, be realistic.


& Amy: Leonard, can I ask you a question?
    Leonard: Sure.
    Amy: Are you bothered by the fact that your former girlfriend left the symposium with what is probably the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life?
    Leonard: No. Why do you ask?
    Amy: Because we're going 120 miles per hour.
    Sheldon: All right, if no one's going to guess... I was spying the aluminum rims* on the police car we passed a few miles back.



--- Dict:
"Who let the dogs out?" — "Почем опиум для народа" по версии Кураж-Бамбей.
"How are they hanging"" — "Как жизнь половая" по версии Кураж-Бамбей.
bestie = a best friend
Solemn Oath — Торжественная присяга
brawny hands — мускулистые руки
hippie-dippy = Uncool, due to lack of forethought.
rim — обод


+ on Imdb.


! Hot.