Larger Than Life
Season 7, Episode 9
& House: Everybody knows you lead with your most interesting symptom.
Martha: You're right. EKG is more interesting than loss of consciousness, so...
House: God, she's still talking. Make it stop.
Taub: House's worldview doesn't include random acts of self-sacrifice. He's gonna count heroism as a symptom until proven otherwise.
Martha: The guy did a wonderful thing. Can't we just take that at face value?
House: You are adorable*.
Martha: Heroism does exist.
& House: So we finally know what Taub would look like if he were life-size.& House: Inappropriate? I mean, 'cause of the Jew thing?
& Martha: Why is your assumption of his guilt more valid than my assumption of his selflessness?
House: Because my assumption is backed up by millions of men, and Taub, who've cheated on their wives. Find the girl and the love nest. Every hero has his Kryptonite.
& Martha: Hyperthyroidism would explain all his symptoms.
House: Or it could be his liver.
Taub: Good. We'll take a look at both.
Martha: For the record, referred pain does not rule out infection...
House: Were you like this when you were working for your math degree? If Euclid had been a guest lecturer, would you have been the kid sitting in the front row going, "actually, you haven't proven the pythagorean theorem"?
& House: I need your advice. Dinner with your mom on Thursday...
Cuddy: It's my birthday!
House: I know. I'm definitely coming, but... Wilson's got tickets to the Hong Kong film festival. Ever since his breakup, he's been a mess. I haven't been able to tell him that I'm not going, so maybe if you happen to see him, you could mention how important this is.
Cuddy: You should go.
House: What?! I can't! It's your birthday!!
Cuddy: Oh, it's... it's... it's fine. It's sweet that you care about your friend, and, frankly, as you will find out sooner or later, my mother is a handful. Go.
{ ......................................... }
& House: I need your advice. This film festival...
Wilson: I have had these tickets for two months!
House: Yeah, I know. I'm definitely coming. But... Thursday is Cuddy's birthday, and her mom's coming down... it's a whole dinner thing. And I thought, maybe if you see her, you could mention how upset you've been.
Wilson: You have to go. Your girlfriend's birthday?
House: It's not even a question. She has one every year.
Wilson: I'm a big boy. I think I'll survive.
& House: I forgot. You guys talk. Look, no offense to either of you, but dinner with your mom? Come on, I... I'd have to act like a decent human being, and you know what a strain that puts on me. And, you, ever since you broke up with Sam, you've done nothing but mope* and whine.
Wilson: It's an unbelievable bummer*. And just what is so exciting you have to blow off both of us to do it?
House: I just want to sit on my couch in my underwear, drink scotch, and watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey
... By myself. I just want one night off. Is that so much to ask?Cuddy & Wilson: Yes! Yes!
& Shiksa: My own daughter is a doctor. She makes a hobby of dismissing my concerns.
House: She sounds smart.
Shiksa: Did she tell you to say that?
House: I've never met your daughter.
Arlene: That's hard to believe since you're currently shtupping* her.
& House 2 Cuddy: We have a situation.
& House: I have been going out of my way to be nice to old Jewish ladies for months now on the off chance one of them could be your mom. You couldn't have mentioned she's a shiksa!
Cuddy: She converted when she married my dad.
House: You see, now is too late. {...} I obviously can't come to dinner now.
Cuddy: Obviously?
House: Well, she's crazy, and she hates me.
Cuddy: House... I need you to come to that dinner for two hours, keep your mouth shut, and behave like an adult. Yes, you will be in hell, but I will feel better having you there. That is what a relationship is. We average our misery.
& Arlene: So say you two got married, would you convert to Judaism?
Cuddy: We haven't gotten that far, mom.
Wilson: That's actually a really interesting question.
House: ... I'm an atheist.
Arlene: Honey, half the Jews I know are atheists. It's about community.
Cuddy: House isn't that big on community.
Arlene: And why do you call him "House"?! The man's name is Greg. It makes it seem like you're not serious. I'm just trying to help you think about the future. You're... you're a certain age now. The parade of boyfriends can't be as amusing as it was. You need to settle down, like your sister.
& Cuddy: First of all, mom... Oh, my God! Did you... sedate my mother?
House: Kicked in just in time. She'll wake up in a couple of hours, be good as new. Think of it as my birthday gift to you. You told me to keep my mouth shut. It's the only way I had a chance.
Wilson: Leaving aside the fact that House is a sociopath, I have to admit that I'm... I'm honestly relieved. Your mom is quite a h... quite a handful... What?! I feel f... Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
House: Sorry. I honestly thought you'd be worse. That was my gift to myself.
& Martha: Any particular reason we need to be looking at the patient?
House: Yes. Cuddy's mom is in my office, and she looks mad.
& Arlene: ... I owe you an apology.
House: Say what?!
Arlene: I don't even remember going to bed last night. I must have had too much to drink. I do know I can be difficult.
House: You were a little bitchy.
Arlene: In the clinic, you were a complete schmendrick, but once you knew I was Lisa's mother, you held your tongue. That's because you love her. I still think you're a pain in the ass with a God complex, and I'll kill you if you hurt her, but I'm glad she has you.
House: We don't have to hug now, do we?
& Martha: There's nothing worse than loving someone who's never going to stop disappointing you.
--- Dict:
adorable — восхитительный; обожаемый; прелестный
mope — хандрить
bummer — лентяй; неприятное происшествие; разочарование
shtupping = Having sex; fucking.
On Imdb
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