Misfits 1x6

Episode #1.6

& Kelly: What about your friends?
    Nathan: I believe that's generally referred to as a "paedophile ring".
    Simon: I'm not a paedophile.
    Nathan: Yeah? You'd screw your own sister for a slice of cheese.
    Simon: I don't even like cheese.
    Nathan: That makes it even worse, you sick bastard.


& Rachel: Don't you have any shame?
    Alisha: Don't you have any dress sense?


& Alisha: I'm sorting my life out. All the drugs and the drink-driving. I've done so many things I'm ashamed of. And I... touched myself in front of you.
    Curtis: And I'm pretty sure you enjoyed it.
    Alisha: Well, I shouldn't be masturbating in public toilets. I'm saving myself until I'm ready to make a proper commitment.
    Curtis: It's a bit late for that.
    Alisha: No, it's never too late.


& Simon: When weird stuff happens, it's always the storm. Haven't you worked that out yet?
    Nathan: Did you just suddenly grow a set of balls?
    Simon: I've always had a set of balls. You've just never seen them.
    Nathan: That is about the gayest thing I've ever heard.


& Kelly: Is that a sock? Aw, it's crusty*.
    Nathan: Ah, don't put it on my pizza!
    Kelly: Why are you sleeping with a crusty sock in your bed?
    Nathan: All right. Yes. It's my wank* sock.
    Kelly: Oh, no! Use some tissue!
    Nathan: That requires planning. Who's that organized?

& Kelly: Oh, don't use a sock.
    Nathan: Look, you've just knocked one out, right? Poom-byo! You're lying there, you're feeling cheap and deflated. There's a pool of rapidly cooling spunk on your stomach. You're looking round for something to mop up* with. 'Oh, hello. What's this? It's a sock. Job done. Thank you.'
    Kelly: Maybe that's your power...


& Kelly: You're better off without power. They're a pain in the arse.
    Nathan: You know why it is, though? Because you can't improve on perfection.

---

& Nathan: 'Don't think about shagging her.
      Don't think about shagging her.
      You're thinking about shagging her.
      You're an idiot.'
    You heard that, didn't you? I'm a man. We think about shagging everyone.


& Nathan: Is it just me, or does this look really suspicious?


& Kelly: It's Curtis!
    Nathan: No! No, there's too many of them. And I'm not very good at fighting. I never have been.


& Nathan: Did she just... virginise him?


& Nathan: What if that "virtue bitch" shows up? She's vexing them with some kind of Derren Brown voodoo mind shit.


& Nathan: Come on, Barry, you're good at this stuff. Think of something.
    Simon: Who's Barry?
    Nathan: You are.
    Kelly: His name is Simon.
    Nathan: Is it? I thought it was Barry.


& Nathan: We need to gear up. ...
    Kelly: What are you doing?
    Nathan: You gotta have the right track for this kind of thing. You need something up-tempo, with a bit of edge to it. I'm thinking Jay-Z, maybe a bit of Dizzee. You could be getting into a whole race thing...
    Kelly: Just pick one, for fuck's sake!
    Nathan: Oh, hold on... Oh, yes. That's the baby!

Jay-Z, Anything


Dizzee Rascal, Dance Wiv Me



& Nathan: Who are you? ... Thanks for saving me and everything. You could've just stopped and let me off!


& Nathan: It was you and now you're not... you.
    Kelly: Look at ya. You haven't achieved anything. You're a waste of space. You're such a loser.
    Nathan: There's no need to get personal.


& Nathan: Beautiful weather, isn't it?
    Curtis: Nathan. I'm so glad you're with us now.
    Nathan: I'm so pleased to be here. I was such a loser. The drugs, the sex... all that fast food. I was so miserable.
    Curtis: I hear you. You were such an annoying idiot.


& Nathan: What's this?
    Curtis: Oh, it's a petition. We're campaigning against contraceptives being given out in schools. Will you sign it?
    Nathan: There's only one thing young ladies should be inserting in themselves... and that's... knowledge.


& Kelly: Nathan, please just let her go.
    Nathan: She's got you thinking this is how you're supposed to be. Well, it's not! We're young. We're supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other's brains out. We are designed to party. This is it. Yeah, so a few of us will overdose or go mental. But Charles Darwin said 'You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.' And that's what it's all about - breaking eggs! And by eggs, I do mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of Class A's. {...} We had it all. We fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful! We're screw-ups. I'm a screw-up* and I plan to be a screw-up until my late 20s, maybe even my early 30s. And I will shag my own mother before I let her... or anyone else take that away from me!


& Simon: To Nathan.
    Curtis: Prick.


& Nathan: I've got a power! I bloody knew it. I've got a power! Ha-ha! Who's laughing now? Help! Help!



-- Dict:
crusty — покрытый корой
wank — онанизм; заниматься онанизмом
mop up — очищать; вытирать; осушать; разделываться; убивать
screw-up = Someone who is messed up or deformed. / Someone who is stupid or ugly. / Someone who is screwed or in a screwed up situation. / Someone who doesn't make sense


+ on Imdb.

_ The best show. Ever! + Soundtracks' ... just wow.