Misfits 2x7

Christmas Special

Eels - Christmas Is Going To The Dogs Lyrics

& Nathan: Are you OK?
Want a look?!
    Nathan: I wouldn't mind. After all, it is nearly Christmas.


& Nathan: I wouldn't do that [smoking] if I were you. That's how babies become dwarfs.
    Marnie: I like dwarfs.
    Nathan: Me too. Who are you?
    Marnie: I'm Marnie.
    Nathan: And this baby of yours, who's the dad?
    Marnie: Depends if it's white, or black, or Chinese or...French.
    Nathan: Those brown babies are very cute. And I like a Chinese baby as much as the next man.


& Nathan: ....... We make up, and before you know what I've trapped you in a serious relationship. That would be the conventional way to do it.
    Marnie: There's just one problem. I can't drink.
    Nathan: So... I guess we should skip all that other stuff and get straight down to the shagging.


& Nathan: I don't want to poke the baby in the eye.
    Marnie: Just... do it gently.


& Nathan: 40, 60... 1.67. Oh! 1.68. That's everything I have in the entire world. Take it. I want you to have it.
    Marnie: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
    Nathan: Actually, can I just get 50p back for a Kit-Kat?


& Simon: She can touch people. I can touch her. We had sex.
    Nathan: Ah! So you finally get to sample the goods, and they're... Not as advertised? Is she one of those girls with really long pubes, down to her knees?
    Simon: No.
    Nathan: No. Has she got an extroverted vagina? Because they can fix that in an operation, man!
    Simon: I was shit.
    Nathan: Oh! So you're after some sex tips from a far more experienced lover! Two words. Fisherman's Friend.
    Simon: Isn't that a cough sweet?
    Nathan: You pop one of those bad boys in your mouth and then you head due south and you pleasure her, orally. And it's the menthol. She'll feel like her pussy's on fire. Huh? Ah, I always keep some on me, just in case I'm required to perform. Go on. That's for you.

---

& Seth: How much d'you want for it?
    Nathan: I will not settle for a penny less... than one million pounds.
......................................
    Marnie: What's this?
    Nathan: That's two grand, for you and the baby. Yeah, it should've been more, but I got really beaten down on the price.
    Marnie: How did you get it? Did you suck off some fat German tourist?


& Jesus: I am here to help you change your life today, right now, this moment. I know what it's like living on this estate. I know what it's like to feel disappointment, to feel pain, to feel angry...
    Nathan: What's all this?
    Neophyte: Our Lord, Jesus Christ, has risen again.
    Nathan: Right. Good for him.
    Marnie: It's nice he's come back in time for Christmas.
    Nathan: Yeah.


& Kelly: D'you think it's all right to just flog our powers like that?
    Nikki: I don't know if you've noticed, but we're not exactly living the dream.
    Alisha: You always hated hearing what people thought about you.
    Kelly: That's because most people are two-faced dickheads.

Oh Happy Day

& Curtis: I need my power back.
    Seth: That's not going to be possible.
    Curtis: What're you talking about?
    Seth: I don't have it.
    Curtis: What d'you mean, you don't have it?
    Seth: I sold it to an old Jewish guy. He said he wanted to rewind time and kill Hitler. You've got to admire his ambition.


& Kelly: You either get him his power back, or I start kicking you in the balls.


& Luke: She was just a girl. I killed her!
    Jesus: Are you sorry? ... Then God forgives you.
    Luke: Seriously? Just like that?
    Jesus: Just like that. Everything bad you've ever done. All the stealing, drugs and masturbating. Don't worry about it. You're forgiven!


& Alisha: Where're you going?
    Nathan: I'm going to kill Jesus.


& Jesus: Can I help you?
    Kelly: You can't go around pretending to be Jesus. What's God gonna say?
    Marnie: You haven't even got a beard!
    Jesus: Hey! I gave my life to Him. I went without money and sex. What a joke! I preached and prayed, and no-one gave a shit. You do a few miracles, everyone thinks you're the messiah. Have you seen that lot out there? I've given their lives... meaning.
    Nathan: I'm sorry. Would you mind getting her to stop? That's very distracting.


& Jesus: I think that belongs to me.
    Kelly: Come and get it if you fucking want it.
    Nathan: Back this way, back this way.
    Jesus: If the mountain won't come to Mohammed...
    Nathan: Now he's starting on the Muslims!


& Alisha: Ah, shit! We've killed Jesus!
    Nathan: Just in case he really is Jesus.
    Neophyte: Our Lord has sacrificed Himself, again.
    Kelly: He's not Jesus! He's just a dickhead with a few super powers.
    Neophyte: Super powers? Do you really expect me to believe that?


& Nathan: How does it feel, baby?
    Marnie: It feels like my cunt's being ripped apart!
    Nathan: I'm no expert, but that sounds normal. Right. I'm going down for a quick peak. ... There's a little baby coming out of your twat! Hey, me and Marnie talked about it, and we want all of you to be the baby's godparents.
    Curtis: She doesn't even know us.
    Nathan: She hasn't got any other friends, and neither have I. I told her there's no-one in the world I trust more than you guys.
    Kelly: You said that about us?
    Nathan: Well, no, not really. So what d'you say?

Little Donkey

& Marnie: I think I'm having another! I think I'm having twins!
    Nathan: What?! Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
    Marnie: What is it? What is it?!
    Nathan: You're giving birth to an alien!
    Marnie: Get it out, get it out!
    Kelly: It's the afterbirth, you dickhead!
    Nathan: Anyway, so... happy Christmas, one and all.


& Kelly: Is there any reason why have to have the same powers as before?


& Seth: So who's first?
    Kelly: You're all such pussies! I'll do it.


On Imdb.




__ Scaaary. What a wow Christmas Special they did. Brr...