The One Where No One Proposes

Friends 9×1

Joey: ... And he brought flowers. Oh, thanks, Ross. I'm really more of a candy kind of guy.
Ross: You're weird today.

Joey: Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me.
Chandler: What? Why does she think that?
Joey: Because it kind of looked like I did.
Chandler: Again, what?

Joey: Okay, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand...
Chandler: As we all are at some point during the day.

Chandler: Ross had a ring? And he was gonna propose?
Joey: I guess.
Chandler: And you did it first?... This is gonna kill him. You know how much he loves to propose.

Monica: I want a baby.
Chandler: Honey, we've been over this. I need to be facing the other way.

Ross: Dad, what are you doing?
Jack Geller: There are people in there having sex.
Ross: It can't be me. I'm standing right here.

Rachel: Oh, look. She's pulling away again. Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? She looks scared. Doesn't she look scared?
Joey: You know, I don't really know her.

Rachel: This is so frustrating. Why doesn't she want my breast?
Joey: I don't know. Maybe she's crazy.

Ross: Why? Why, why would she think we're engaged?
Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? You know, Ross, doctors are supposed to be smart.

Ross: I didn't give her that ring.
Phoebe: You didn't?
Ross: No.
Phoebe: So whose ring is it?
Ross: It's mine.
Phoebe: Is it an engagement ring?
Ross: Yes.
Phoebe: But you didn't give it to her?
Ross: No.
Phoebe: But you were going to propose?
Ross: No.
Phoebe: Huh. I might be losing interest in this.

Monica: Hi, Dad. I can still call you that, right?
Jack Geller: Of course. I'll always be your dad.
Chandler: I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasn't for fun.
Monica: It wasn't fun?!

Jack Geller: Why, why, why would you?
Monica: Look, I just don't want you to think... that we're animals who do it whenever we want.
Jack Geller: Well, I don't think that. Before today, I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.

Chandler: That's funny. This conversation's how I got the bullet hole in my head.

Rachel: Joey asked me to marry him.
Monica: What?
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Monica: Is he crazy? You just had Ross' baby.
Rachel: Well, I said yes.
Monica: What, are you crazy? You just had Ross' baby.

Monica: It's so inappropriate. No, it is worse than that. It is wrong.

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