Doctor Dolittle (1967)

Matthew Mugg: But don't you see the problem?
Tommy Stubbins: What's that?
Matthew Mugg: Well, do you speak Chinese?
Tommy Stubbins: No.
Matthew Mugg: Then if you sell your grandfather's watch and we go to China, how are you going to tell the time?
Tommy Stubbins: I never thought of that.

Tommy Stubbins: Who looks after the animals?
Dr. John Dolittle: They look after themselves for the most part. Animals are better at that than human beings.
Tommy Stubbins: And how did you become a veteran?
Matthew Mugg: Stubbins, the word is veterinarian. Say animal doctor, it's less pretentious.

Dr. John Dolittle: Did you know that an ant has more intelligence than a hippopotamus? And a grasshopper, in relation to its size, has more power in its hind legs than a kangaroo. Absolutely fascinating. There's no doubt about it - animals are much more interesting than people.
Dr. John Dolittle: You know, Matthew, today I made a great discovery... I'm a terrible doctor. I'm probably the worst doctor in the world.
Matthew Mugg: Good for you. I like a man who knows his worth.

Dr. John Dolittle: I have absolutely no interest in the health and welfare of my patients. I can't begin to communicate with them. I don't even want to communicate with them. In fact, I've come to the conclusion that, with the exception of yourself, I have nothing in common with the human race.

Dr. John Dolittle: You mean animals actually talk to one another?
Polynesia: Well, of course we can. Do you think we're all dumb?
Dr. John Dolittle: I... No, no. I knew parrots could talk.
Polynesia: Parrots are the finest linguists in the animal kingdom. I speak over 2,000 languages, including Dodo and Unicorn.
Dr. John Dolittle: Unicorn?
Polynesia: I had a classical education.

Dr. John Dolittle: Polynesia, could I learn to talk to animals?
Polynesia: I don't see why not. You're quite intelligent.
Dr. John Dolittle: Oh, thank you. If I succeeded, I could become the greatest animal doctor in the world.
Polynesia: Oh, no question. Mind you, it isn't easy. I'm the only parrot in the world who actually understands what she's talking about.
Dr. John Dolittle: If you can do it, I don't see why I shouldn't.
Polynesia: I like your attitude.

Dr. John Dolittle: Polynesia, I want you to teach me everything you know.
Polynesia: What? 2,000 languages?
Dr. John Dolittle: Certainly. We'll start at eight tomorrow.
Polynesia: But it took me over 100 years.
Dr. John Dolittle: Then we’II start at seven. There's not a moment to lose.

Emma Fairfax: I've never in my entire experience known anyone treat people as appallingly as you do.
Dr. John Dolittle: I don't treat people, I treat animals.
Emma Fairfax: You treat people like animals too.
Dr. John Dolittle: I don't like people whose idea of pleasure is to take a defenceless animal and make a social event out of a killing.

Matthew Mugg: That's marvelous, but tell me, Doctor, how do you make money with a pushmi-pullyu?
Dr. John Dolittle: I thought it was obvious. Stubbins, what would you do if you had two heads?
Tommy Stubbins: I'd join a circus, sir.
Dr. John Dolittle: Exactly!

Matthew Mugg: Well, where are we going?
Dr. John Dolittle: To hunt for the great pink sea snail.
Matthew Mugg: And where do you expect to find it?
Dr. John Dolittle: I haven't the faintest idea. One place is as good as another, so it's time to decide. Otherwise we won't know we've arrived.

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+ Dolittle (2020)