An Alien in New York

Resident Alien 2×6

Sheriff Mike Thompson: Do you know anything about, uh, getting stains out of couch cushions? I mean deep stains.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne: No, you know anything about getting disgusting images out of my head?

Deputy Liv Baker: Sir, I just think that we should consider that maybe it wasn't a meteor. Maybe it was a U...
Sheriff Mike Thompson: Deputy, no.
Deputy Liv Baker: F...
Sheriff Mike Thompson: Please don't. Please.
Deputy Liv Baker: O.
Sheriff Mike Thompson: Damn it! You're supposed to be an officer of the law.

Sheriff Mike Thompson: Deputy, look, I appreciate mystical creatures, all right? I really do. Well, except for mermaids. You know, where they get off sitting up on the rocks all high and mighty, expecting you to ask them out on a date? I mean, why they so stuck up? I mean, if you have fish, you gonna smell all like fish, you understand?
Deputy Liv Baker: Gross.

N 42: It's my time. I've... I've lived a good life. .... It was an honorable death. Honor my life by... eating my dead body in a butter sauce with a... a nice... like, a really nice Chardonnay.

D'Arcy Bloom: You don't fart around your wi... What's the point of being married if you can't fart around your wife?

Sheriff Mike Thompson: Okay, now, you think police work is a joke, huh? You think this is a game. What you think... I got Willy Wonka tattooed on my ass 'cause it's a chocolate factory or something?

Harry Vanderspeigle: I am drinking coffee... and I am eating pie. Mmm! I like pie. It is like cake, but made with real food.

Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Live, laugh, love.

Violinda Darvell: Tell me... How long have you known Harry is an alien?

Harry Vanderspeigle: This is some bullshit.

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