The End

A Series of Unfortunate Events 3×7

♪ I beg of you, I beg of you ♪
♪ Stop watching, save yourself ♪
♪ Just look away ♪
♪ Look away ♪

Lemony Snicket: You may have noticed in your life that it is easier to get used to happiness than despair. The 13th time you drink a root beer float, you may enjoy it less than the first time because you have become used to the taste of vanilla ice cream and root beer mixed together. However... the 13th time you discover somebody is following you, your despair is much greater than the first time because you've been on the run for many years and you're exhausted...

Lemony Snicket: All that I do know is that in this story... there are no happy endings, and in that respect... I fear that the Baudelaire orphans and I are in the same boat.

Klaus Baudelaire: Do you think he's...
Violet Baudelaire: I've never seen him look so calm.

Count Olaf: You call this a colony? It's just a bunch of yutzes!
Klaus Baudelaire: You mean yurts. And they're tents.
Count Olaf: I don't know, they seem pretty relaxed to me.

Friday: This is our facilitator, Ishmael.
Ishmael: Oh, call me Ish.

Ishmael: So tell me, how did three children like you come to be shipwrecked with a man like that?
Klaus Baudelaire: It's a long story.
Violet Baudelaire: Extremely long.
Sunny Baudelaire: Three seasons.

Ishmael: We have a motto on this island: "Forget your troubles." Care for a drink?

Ishmael: As for Count Olaf, well, we've placed his cage by the seawall, and tomorrow, when that seawall floods, Count Olaf will drown.
Klaus Baudelaire: Isn't that cruel?
Ishmael: That depends on how you look at it...

Violet Baudelaire: It was just an idea.
Ishmael: Yes, but ideas lead to more ideas, which lead to arguments, which lead to schisms. You remember what got you stranded here to begin with... Don't. Rock. The boat.
Klaus Baudelaire: ... It's an expression which don't do anything that might cause trouble.

Count Olaf: You're not as stupid as you look, though that would be impossible.

Count Olaf: Of course I'm going to die! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everybody runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit one another, and then they die.

Lemony Snicket: The difference between your memory of a person and their handwriting is that, unlike words written in ink, most memories fade over time. .... But some memories never fade, and these memories are often of people we've lost. We carry them with us...

Ishmael: As a decent person, I never presume someone's gender, but you're trying to manipulate my decency, so take off that ridiculous disguise!

Count Olaf: You took a plucky schoolboy and made him think that books and poetry and learning would keep him safe. Well, they didn't. Every parent figure I've ever had has either let me down or died. This is The End.

Klaus Baudelaire: You could spread the fungus to the entire world!
Violet Baudelaire: You're making a terrible mistake!
Ishmael: Maybe I am. Being a leader is like being a parent. You try to keep your children safe. You just don't always know what you're doing.
Ω So true and relevant to the moment.

Count Olaf: There's always one thing you can do... You can die.

Count Olaf: Don't you understand, Baudelaires? Don't you understand that so much of life is just waiting for people who have wounded you to finally, finally die?

Kit Snicket: Sometimes... you have to fight fire with fire.
Klaus Baudelaire: When you fight fire with fire, the world goes up in smoke.

Lemony Snicket: Skimming a book is not the same as reading it, for the same reason that fast-forwarding through a piece of televised entertainment is not the same as watching it. But when you skim through a narrative, you get a strange view of the story, full of confusing utterances... out of context revelations... and increasing desperation as you get closer to The End.

Klaus Baudelaire: Maybe it's too late. Maybe this is The End of our story.

---

Klaus Baudelaire: That looks bad.
Count Olaf: I've been worse.

Count Olaf: Hello, hello, hello.

Count Olaf: Let me see your eyes... The night has a thousand eyes, and the day but one. Yet the light... of the bright world dies with the dying sun.
Kit Snicket: The mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart but one. Yet the light of a whole life dies when love is done.

Count Olaf: What's that thing your brother used to say? Man hands on misery to man.
Kit Snicket: It deepens...
Klaus Baudelaire: ...like a coastal shelf.
Count Olaf: Get out as early as you can... And don't have any kids yourself.

Lemony Snicket: As I'm sure you know, "labor" is the term for the process by which a woman gives birth. By no coincidence, it is also a word that means "a very difficult task."

Lemony Snicket: It is likely your eyes were closed when you were born, so that when you left the safe place of your mother's womb, or if you are a seahorse, your father's yolk sac, you did not yet know the people who would shelter you as your life began, when you were even smaller and more delicate and demanding than you are now. Perhaps if we saw what was ahead, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us, we would all stay in our mothers' wombs, then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of pregnant, irritated women.

Lemony Snicket: In any case, all of our stories begin in darkness with our eyes closed. And all our stories end that way, too, as we utter our last words... before slipping back into darkness... and silence.

Klaus Baudelaire: Are we ready to do this?
Violet Baudelaire: If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting the rest of our lives.

Lemony Snicket: Sometimes a chapter might end, but that doesn't mean that the story is over. And some stories go on, even after the storyteller has stopped telling them.

Lemony Snicket: Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives.

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+ Quotes on the IMDb