Thanksgiving Jamboree

Modern Family 8×7

& Claire: Phil thought it’d be a good idea if Jerry spent the day with a happy, functional family. We couldn’t find one, so he’s coming with us.

& Claire: And you’re on-board with this?
    Mitchell: Yes! Come on, it’s good country fun!
    Claire: No. For Cam, maybe. What is happening? Is he hitting you?

& Lawyer: Look, you want some free legal advice, fellas? Three words— Ladies. Leave. Losers.
    Phil: No, sir, we have three words for you. Have you no sh— Have you— Have no— have you no shame— It can be four words.

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& Lawyer: Who’s this chuckle-head?
    Phil: Someone who you’re never gonna know, ’cause I’m happily married most of the time.

& Jay: You know, I learned something today. I saw a man nearly die right in front of me. And this is a constant reminder that it can happen to me at any moment. It’s a lot to think about. So I’m not gonna. Phil, get me a beer. Jerry, get me a scotch.

& Cameron: Alex, how many goats have to die until you get a handle on your insatiable appetite for high-school boys?

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On the IMDb