Not Funny

South Park 20×9

& Major: Yes, all our e-mails and Internet histories are about to become public knowledge. But!....

& Major: ...This hack of our city will never happen so long as we can rely on the rationality and the basic decency of the American people.
    Crowd: We’re gonna die!
    Major: ... Guess I could have worded that differently.

& Gerald Broflovski: Listen to me. The Danish are fucking crazy. You have to get people to stop them.
    Kyle: How?
    Gerald Broflovski: Go get people riled up. Call the president. I don’t know. When you push people’s buttons, they go and push other people’s buttons. Now, get out there and...

& Heidi: Babe, I have no idea what any of this means.
    Eric: Heidi, yes, you do. You just have to get over yourself. Come on. Say it. Say it.
    Heidi: Girls rule. Women are funny. Get over it.
    Eric: Get over it, baby. Stop holding yourself back.

& Kyle: What are you all doing?! Somebody’s threatening your way of life, and you’re all just sitting here, praying?! Like a-a bunch of babies?!
    Ike: Like a bunch of pussies!
    Kyle: Come on! This isn’t South Park. What’s happened to us? We used to have a challenge and deal with it then move on to the next one. Now we’ve just been dealing with trolling and Internet stuff over and over, week after week, and I don’t know about you, but I’m getting pretty sick of it!

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& Ike: Pussy ass bitch.

& Butters: Eric, Eric, trust me. I want nothing to do with girlfriends. I know what girlfriends do. They make you feel the happiest you ever felt. Then they crawl up inside of you and... poop on your heart.

& Butters: That’s how it ends, Eric. Girls get you to feel for them, make you think they’re the best thing in the world, and then they leave, move on to the next thing, and you’re left there, crying, with your heart covered in poop.

& Butters: Don’t feel bad about getting duped, Eric. It’s happened to all of us.

& Butters: The truth is girls hate us, Eric. They’re sick of our shit. And one day, they plan to make us obsolete, stick us underground where we just get milked for our semen. Boys’ only hope is to start over on Mars.

& Gerald Broflovski: ...the fact of the matter is I’m not really a troll. I actually have a job. I’m a lawyer. I’ve got a loving wife and great kids. Um, I’ve got a family that really misses me and needs me. ...
    ...you know, I just sort of set things in motion. See, I’m a satirist. I challenge people’s point of views by being sort of edgy. And sometimes, people can be like, «Whoa!» and mistake that for hate, but it’s not hate. It’s pointing out hypocrisies in our society.

& Gerald Broflovski: If you say mean things and you’re mean, then I agree you should be killed. But if you’re being funny, which spreads joy...

& Lennart Bedrager: Do you want to know what’s really funny?

& Gerald Broflovski: You would... deliberately start World War III, let the people of Denmark die, set everyone on Earth against each other? Why?!
    Lennart Bedrager: Because it’s freakin’ hilarious!

& Lennart Bedrager: Getting a Scandinavian country to fight trolls by building a giant machine that actually shows everyone on Earth is kind of a troll, too?
    Gerald Broflovski: That’s not funny.
    Lennart Bedrager: That’s not funny?! Don’t be a fag, dude! That’s real bro shit there.

& Kyle: Just remember... I always loved you, little brother.
    Ike: I love you, too, big brother.
    Kyle: Let’s just get it over with...

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On the IMDb

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