Scab's Parents

Citizen Khan 5×4

& Mr. Khan: Oh! I missed the ball!

& Mr. Khan: I suppose son-in-laws are just like your own children, huh? You make a mistake with the first one... but you get it right the second time around.

& Amjad: But, sir, you’re old and a boy. Why aren’t you part of the network?
    Mr. Khan: Amjad, the people in these old boy networks wear stripy ties, old-fashioned suits and talk in a funny accent. They’re nothing like me.

& Mr. Khan: Mr Scabby doesn’t think my Pakistani family’s good enough. Who does he think he is? Donald Trumps?
    Amjad: Maybe he’s a racialist...
    Mr. Khan: I’m not going to stand for that. When we see him, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.

& Mr. Khan: Of course! Of course I know what a sauna is. I’m not an idiot!

& Mr. Khan: This is how we dress in Pakistani saunas.
    Mr Rogers: I didn’t know saunas were the thing in Pakistan.
    Mr. Khan: Oh, yes! We’ve got the biggest sauna in the world. It’s called Karachi.

& Amjad: We’re going to give him a piece of our minds... We’re Pakistani. If you don’t want us, we don’t want you! And you can stick your hoity-toity country club right up your...

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& Mr Rogers: Because we’re not racist!

& Mr. Khan: And about earlier, that was all a misunderstanding, ah? I didn’t really think you were racist. I thought you were posh. But, obviously, you’re not posh, I mean, you’re actually very common. Not, not common! You’re all white! All right! All right! Right. Right.

& Mr. Khan: No! We can do cocktails. No problem.
    Mrs. Khan: What?!
    Mr Rogers: Are you sure? I mean, what with you being Muslim.
    Mr. Khan: Oh! Muslim Shuslim!

& Mrs. Khan: You’re going to tell them this is champagne?
    Mr. Khan: Pakistani champagne like French champagne, but browner.

& Mrs Rogers: Ohhh, dear. Well, I have to say, you’re not at all like we imagined. They’re not at all like we imagined, are they?
    Mr Rogers: No, you’re not at all like we imagined.
    Mr. Khan: We’re not at all like they imagined.

& Mr. Khan: Let’s not forget the little-known sixth pillar of Islam. Those that shall have loads of money... shall give it unto their kinneth and also... unto their in-laws.

& Mr. Khan: Alia, beti, Scabby has something he’d like to aks you.

& Mr. Khan: So, which one are you going to go to? Birmingham City University or The University of Birmingham?
    Alia: Neither.
    Mr. Khan: But none of the rest are in Birmingham!

& Mr. Khan: ...for future reference, if you’re looking for freedom, getting married doesn’t have very much.

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