Optimal Tip-To-Tip Efficiency

Silicon Valley 1×8

& Belson Gavin: I hope you’ve enjoyed your journey into the Nucleus. We have the speed. We have the features. And we have... Shakira!
    Shakira: Hola, TechCrunch!

& Erlich: We just need to really dial it up for the big show tomorrow.
    Richard: Dial what up? He just ruined us.
    Erlich: And until then, we need to do what any animal in nature does when it’s cornered... act erratically, and blindly lash out at everything around us. I’m gonna go get in Gavin’s head.

& Jared: Hey, guys, I just had a thought. OK, so this is it, right? A lot of successful start-ups launched with a different business model, and when they ran into trouble, they pivoted to something new. Like Instagram. That was a location-based check-in service when it started. And then they pivoted. Or Chat Roulette, OK, that was social media, and then they pivoted to become a playground for the sexually monstrous. We just need a new idea, something that people want. Right? We can pivot, too.
    Dinesh: Dude, you are fucked up right now.
    Gilfoyle: Yeah, you’re pinning bad.

& Jared: Don’t lose faith, guys. All right, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. We’ve got a great name. We’ve got a great team. We’ve got a great logo, and we’ve got a great name. Now we just need an idea. Let’s pivot! Let’s pivot!
    Dinesh: That might be the last time we see him alive.

& Dinesh: We’re going to be poor.

---

& Javeed: Wow, Pied Piper sounds like a great place to work.
    Dinesh: Oh, yeah, it is. Pied Piper is the best, right?
    Gilfoyle: Oh, my God, everyday feels like I’ve died and gone to hell.
    Javeed: I’m sorry.
    Dinesh: He’s a Satanist, so it’s good.

& Richard: Uh... can I be honest with you? I haven’t had more than two straight hours of sleep in months. I’ve had a cold for, like, a year. My stomach cramps up so much I feel like I’m menstruating. Maybe this is for the better.

& Erlich: We’re presenting tomorrow. And you know what? We’re going to win. Yeah, we’re gonna win even if I have to go into the auditorium and personally jerk off every guy in the audience.
    Jared: That’s a lot of jerking. And we only have ten minutes to present. So...
    Richard: So, we’re fucked, aren’t we?
    Dinesh: Yeah, even if he’s jerking two at a time, there are, what, 800 guys in that room? So that’s 400 times whatever the mean jerk-time is.
    Jared: The what?
    Dinesh: Mean jerk-time. I mean, it doesn’t matter, but, hypothetically, time is equal to 400 total jerks at a two-dick rate. Unless Erlich jerks off four guys at a time, and then we can cut that in half.
    Gilfoyle: How would he do four guys...? He’s got two hands, so that’s two dicks at a time, right?

& Jared: Guys, does girth-similarity affect Erlich’s ability to jerk different dicks simultaneously?..
    Erlich: ... Shit. Yeah, I think it would.

& Erlich: Richard, talk to me. I can’t front a band without knowing what we’re playing?
    Richard: Uh... I’m think I’m just going to do the presentation myself.
    Erlich: Wait, what? No, no, no, Richard, Richard, Richard, Richard. Respectfully... Respectfully, you’re terrible. You have world class showman standing right in front of you and you’re going to pass on that? Release me, Richard. Release the Kraken!

& Erlich: Gentlemen, this is likely the last ten minutes of Pied Piper, so let’s enjoy it.

& Richard: What happened was, last night I was watching my friends here have this argument. About, you know, manipulating... data... And, you know, how many datas could one guy manipulate at once and, uh... And I was just... I was thinking. Maybe it could be another way, you know?

& Richard: I’m sorry, guys. Gavin won. We lost.
    Gilfoyle: At least it didn’t happen in a public and brutally embarrassing way.

& Erlich: Hendricks, you beautiful bastard! I told you we’d do it! Come on!
    Dinesh: We’re not going to be poor!

& Journalist: So Richard wrote the code?
    Erlich: Richard wrote the code, yes, but the inspiration was clear... Let me ask you something. How fast do you think you could jack off every guy in this room?.. ’Cause I know how long it would take me. And I can prove it.

& Monica: It’s gonna get pretty insane for you, Richard.
    Richard: Yeah.
    Monica: You’re going to have more offers of funding than you’re going to know what to do with.
    Richard: Yeah.
    Monica: You’re going to have to grow a business, hire a staff, rent offices, get an assistant... Peter is going to be a lot more hands on and a lot tougher on you. People may take credit for your idea and try and sue you. How awesome is that?
    Richard: Uh... yeah, that’s... awesome.
    Monica: I mean, if you thought it was crazy getting to this point, you’re not going to believe what it turns into from here.
    Richard: Right.
    Monica: I mean pretty soon, you could be managing thousands of employees who are all looking up to you. Gavin Belson, he’s not going away anytime soon.
    Richard: Mmm.
    Monica: But it’s going to be amazing.
    Richard: Excuse me a second!

Ω Season 2’s perspective’s pretty clear & straightforward. Lookin’ forward to it.
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