A Possum on Chemo

Two and a Half Men 9×14

& Walden: Is there anything else about me that’s not working for you?
    Zoey: As long as you ask, I’m not crazy about the Jennifer Aniston hairdo.

& Walden: I thought you liked the way I looked.
    Zoey: Oh, I do. I do. I just think I’d like it better if the ratio of hair to face was more on the face side of things.

& Walden: What are you going to do tonight?
    Alan: Well, I don’t want to jinx myself, but I’m hoping to rub one out and be asleep by 10:00.
    Zoey: Rub one out?
    Walden: Oh, he’s gonna wait till we leave, watch some porn and masturbate.
    Zoey: Ah. Oh. Ick.

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& Alan: Well, thanks again for dinner. I really thought I was gonna eat both lobsters.

& Walden: If it’s that important to you and the people you work with— who obviously have never heard of Steve Wozniak, Richard Branson or freakin’ Santa Claus... I’ll do it.

& Alan: Uh, tomorrow night? ... Great, I-I’ll see you then. Huh. She’s dating a young, good-looking stud with money. Why would she want to see me? Maybe she needs a kidney.

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