Derek 2×3

& Derek: Hannah’s pregnant!
    Hannah: What he said.

& Kev: You like bad boys, eh? Look no further.
    Vicky: Yeah, there’s... There’s bad and there’s bad, in’t there?
    Kev: Explain.
    Vicky: Well, there’s bad like a lion, like, he’s big and scary and handsome, but he’s dangerous. Like, so you might get hurt. There’s that bad. Then there’s bad like a... like a massive bucket of shit, and piss, and beer, and fag butts, and all the rest of it, and everyone can smell it, and no-one wants to touch it. Not under any circumstances. There’s that bad.
    Kev: And I’m the bucket, yeah?.. Nice analogy. Well explained.

& Hannah: Come on, Kev. It’s not that bad.
    Kev: Can’t believe it. Thought she was my safety net. Or the big, old, stained crash-mat, as I used to call her.

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& Hannah: I don’t know what to expect. It’s like when they say, “Imagine how big the universe is,” and it’s incomprehensible. There’s someone out there worse than Kev?!

& Kev: Shagging anything that moves? We used to call him Fuckleberry Finn.

& Derek: It’s weird. Kev’s the good one.
    Hannah: I know.
    Derek: Kev’s the smart one out of these two, ain’t he?

& Kev: What a game bird your gran still is. Naughty Nana.

& Derek: If it’s a boy baby, call it Justin, after Justin Timberlake. If it’s a girl baby, call it Susan, after Susan Boyle.

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On the IMDb