A Fox, a Rabbit, and a Cabbage

Fargo 1×9

& Jemma: Oh, Mick Mike. I just keep pinching myself.
    Lorne: Well, honey, you’ve earned it. It’s like my mama always said, “Boys, if you like the milk, buy the freakin’ cow.”
    Jemma: Oh, that’s so sweet. Well, I am gonna stick my whole thumb up your ass later.
    Lorne: Aces.

& Lorne: No time like the present. That’s what I always say.

& Burt: Weezy’s basically a Jew in the bedroom.
    Lorne: Oh, you mean she wears a wig, makes you do it through a hole in the sheet, yeah.
    Burt: No. No, no. She... stopped putting it in her mouth soon as the ring went on her finger.
    Lorne: Well, that’s a national tragedy, Burt.
    Burt: Amen.

& Lorne: Lester... is this what you want?..
    Lester: ........
    Lorne: Yes or no?..
    Lester: Yes.

& Lorne: That’s on you.

& Lorne: I worked this guy for six months, Lester. Six months. Can you imagine the number of sewer mouths I put my hands in?.. The gallons of human spit?.. Plus the $100,000 bounty down the toilet, but, uh... Still, the look on his face when I pulled the gun, classic, huh?

& Lorne: See you later, Lester. See you soon.

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& Budge: A man has a fox, a rabbit, and a cabbage.
    Pepper: What man?
    Budge: Any man. A man.
    Pepper: Colonel Sanders?
    Budge: Could be. Could be George W Bush.
    Pepper: Why would George W Bush have a fox and a rabbit and a cabbage?

& Budge: ...And here’s the problem. If the man leaves the fox and the rabbit alone, the fox is gonna eat the rabbit, and the same for the rabbit and the cabbage. So how does the man get all three of his items across the river without losing any of them?
    Pepper: A Turducken.
    Budge: A what’s that now?
    Pepper: He stuffs the cabbage in the rabbit and the rabbit in the fox, and he eats all of them.

& Molly: Anyway, I’m in charge today on account of Bill’s on his way to St. Paul now for a— what do you call it?.. Law enforcement conference. So watch your butts.
Ω Here it comes.

& Lorne: You have a nice day. Have fun, kids.

& Lorne: ...And a piece of pie.
    Lou: I got apple and cherry.
    Lorne: No good ever came from a piece of cherry pie.

& Lorne: Of course no one hangs the sad pictures. Am I right? Mom crying and dad looking angry... Kid with a black eye...

& Lorne: Thanks for the pie and the coffee. Haven’t had a piece of pie like that since the Garden of Eden.

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