Derek 2×4

& Kev: .... It’s a true story.
    Art’s teacher: Don’t see any fruit.
    Kev: Oh, there’s fruit, love. I got a kumquat up my rectum.

& Derek: We’re going to the zoo today. I’m... I’m just getting in the mood, looking at my favouritest videos on YouTube. Animal videos, with a song, usually. This one is, um... one of my favourite songs ever... Baby Bunny.

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& Vicky: All right, erm, are you on Twitter? I’ll follow you.
    Andy: Er... no.
    Vicky: Facebook?
    Andy: No, erm, I’m in the phone book.
    Vicky: What’s that? Like an app?
    Andy: I should take your number.
    Vicky: Yeah, go on, then.
    Andy: What’s your name?
    Vicky: Er... Victoria.

& Hannah: Victoria met Mr Right.
    Vicky: Er... no, I don’t know about Mr Right. He is Mr Fit, though, ain’t he?

& Vicky: Sheila, you’ll be well proud of me. He’s a nice one. Proper gentleman.
    Sheila: Well, make sure you let him know you’re a lady.
    Vicky: Ha. Don’t worry, Sheila. When I get the chance, I’m going to lady his fucking brains out.

& Derek: That’s my favourite thing. Holding little things. Hugging. Makes you feel good, hugging, don’t it? Cos it... it reminds you of when you was little... and when it was real safe, and it makes you safe again. Also, I never knows what to say, so I just hugs. And that sort of says it all, don’t it?

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On the IMDb