The Fish Guts Displacement

The Big Bang Theory 6×10

& Raj: Can we change the subject? Spiders give me the jeebie-jeebies.
    Howard: It’s... “heebie-jeebies.”
    Raj: I know, but that sounds anti-Semitic.

& Amy: I think I’m too sick to go to the funeral.
    Sheldon: You’re sick?.. You poor kid. Well, see ya.
    Amy: Sheldon, aren’t you gonna take care of me?
    Sheldon: Me?! No. No, I’m not that kind of doctor.

& Sheldon: Amy. Amy. Amy. I made a commitment in writing to comfort you in times like this. Additionally, you are my girlfriend, and I care about your well-being.

& Howard: ..... So, how have you been?
    Mr. Rostenkowski: Fine.
    Howard: Good. Fine is good. ..... How you liking retirement?

& Sheldon: 102.2... Exactly what it was half an hour ago. It’s like you’re not even trying to get better.

& Sheldon: How can you sleep? I’m not done making you feel better. I still have to put a cold rag on your head, sing to you and apply VapoRub to your chest.
    Amy: Y-You want to rub something on my chest?!
    Sheldon: Yes. All over it.
    Amy: Maybe we should start with that.
    Sheldon: Now you’re being a responsible patient.

& Sheldon: Now, you may notice some tingling.
    Amy: Oooh, I’m counting on it.

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& Leonard: I’m no expert... but I think the hook has to go through the worm.

& Sheldon: Uh, I’m going to draw you a soothing bath. Where’s your bath thermometer?
    Amy: I don’t have a bath thermometer.
    Sheldon: Fine. Then I’m going to draw you a nerve-wracking bath of indeterminate temperature.

& Amy: See the stuff in my nose?.. Rubber cement.
    Bernadette: I don’t mean to be judgy... but this is the kind of thing lunatics do.
    Amy: All right... I’ll tell him.
    Sheldon: Amy, would you be strong enough to bathe yourself, or do you need my help?
    Amy: ... I’ll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.

& Leonard: My dad was an anthropologist. The only father-son time he spent was with a 2,000-year-old skeleton of an Etruscan boy. I hated that kid.
    Raj: Mine just took me to his gynecology office. I got so bored, I’d put vaginal lubricant on the bottom of my shoes and pretend I was ice-skating.
    Howard: Yeah, well, my quality father-son time was spending my adolescence looking out the window waiting for my dad to come back someday...
    Raj: Yeah, okay, Howard wins.

& Sheldon: You know, it’s a tad old-school, but my father was not one to spare the rod when my brother would sneak into his truck and drink his driving whiskey.
    Amy: Are you saying you want to spank me?
    Sheldon: I don’t want to. But it looks like you left me no choice.
    Amy: That’s true... I’ve been a very bad girl.

& Howard: Really? Your wife makes you do stuff? You’re a big, scary cop.
    Mr. Rostenkowski: You’re an astronaut, and your wife makes you do things, and she’s only four feet tall.

& Mr. Rostenkowski: There’s an Indian casino near Palm Springs. You know how to shoot craps?
    Howard: No, but I’m not a stranger to dice games. I was the Temple Beth-El Hebrew School Yahtzee champion.
    Mr. Rostenkowski: Mazel tov.

& Howard: Thank you, sir.
    Mr. Rostenkowski: Call me Mike.
    Howard: Okay... Oh, boy, we’re just married to a couple of ballbusters, huh, Mike?
    Mr. Rostenkowski: That’s my wife and daughter you’re talking about.
    Howard: Great couple of gals!
    Mr. Rostenkowski: I wouldn’t go that far.

& Sheldon: Are you prepared to receive your punishment?
    Amy: ... One second. I want to put on some music.
    Sheldon: Why?
    Amy: I don’t want to disturb the people next door while you discipline me.

& Sheldon: Very well, then. Get over my knee. Let’s begin...
    Amy: Oh, my!
    Sheldon: Excuse me. You’re not supposed to be enjoying this.
    Amy: Then maybe you should spank me harder...
    Sheldon: Maybe I will.
    Amy: Oooh!

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On the IMDb