& Abby: You’re responsible for her. If she fucks up, you fuck up, and I’ll fuck you up all the way to fuck.
Finn: How is that fair?!
& Finn: What are you doing? You heard what he said, he’s going to fuck me up all the way to fuck. And... I don’t even know what that means, but it’s not good.
& Rudy: Oh, hello! Do I detect the gentle flush of the female orgasm?
& Jess: Are you on community service?
Abby: No. Just pretending.
& Finn: Anyone fancy a drink?
Abby: I’m in... Just need a shit. I’ll meet you down there.
Finn: OK. Enjoy your shit.
& Tara: I can’t handle this... How am I supposed to have a baby? I thought I could do it, but I can’t.
Abby: Oh, it’s a design fault. Why don’t they give us bigger vaginae? How are you meant to get something so big out of something so small?.. Apparently, they suck the life out of your tits, so, er, you can kiss them goodbye.
& Abby: So, guess what happened to me.
Finn: Oh, my God!
Abby: I know. It’s totally fucked. I went to the toilet and there was this girl and she had this power. Next thing, I’m pregnant, she’s not... All the times I shagged people and never got pregnant. I go for a quiet dump and then this happens.
& Jess: Please, talk to me more about your balls!
& Rudy: I’m gonna tell him.
Jess: Don’t you fucking dare!
Rudy: Quickly tell him. Dude?!
Jess: He’s got... He’s got a fanny.
Rudy: What?! He’s got a what?!
Jess: A vagina.
Rudy: What the fuck!
Jess: Someone stole it from him. They did a swap.
Rudy: Can’t believe it. Alex the barman. He’s got a mangina.
& Finn: What about the laptop?
Abby: Yes! Good — steal the laptop, find the address, sell it on. Just need a distraction...
Finn: I’ll take care of this. .......
Abby: Are you shitting yourself? Is that the distraction? Cos I’m not sure that’s gonna work.
& Abby: That’s your power? You can spill cups of tea?
Finn: No, it... It’s telekinesis. It’s not exclusive to tea.
& Finn: No of fence, but will you shut the fuck up about Nadine?
Rudy: What do you mean?
Finn: It’s all you’ve gone on about all day. Nadine, Nadine, Nadine...
Jess: It is fucking boring.
Rudy: Usually when I meet a girl, it’s... it’s all down here. It’s dick-based. ... The first time I want to see a girl for the second time and I... I don’t know where to find her, do I?
& Abby: I’m fuckin’ starving and I’m eating for two, so I’m gonna go and get a Kit Kat.
& Rudy: Shit, I don’t know how it works. It’s storm-related, innit? All I know is where once there was a penis, there is now merely a vagina.
& Abby: So... he hasn’t got a dick and you have, but Jess would still rather be with him...
Finn: Great. Thanks for ruining the moment.
& Greg: You. I need your full name.
Abby: What for?
Greg: You’re not on the system. And if you’re not on the system, then you don’t exist.
& Greg: I... will not... allow... anarchy and chaos to overtake my community center.
& Rudy: Why does she keep running off, then?
Finn: Because she’s a girl. That’s what they do. They string you along like a little puppy and then, when you think you’ve got a chance, they end up with... some guy who works in a bar who doesn’t even have a dick.
Abby: Maybe she’s some sexy psycho werewolf who doesn’t want you finding out.
& Rudy: Shit, I’m in love with a fucking nun...
& Greg: This is a song very close to my heart. I hope you’ll like it, too...
♪ I’ll protect you from the hooded claw. ♪
♪ Keep the vampires from your door. ♪
♪ I-I-I-I ♪
♪ Feels like fire ♪
♪ I’m so in love with you ♪
♪ Dreams are like angels ♪
♪ They keep bad at bay, bad at bay ♪
♪ Love is the light ♪
♪ Scaring darkness away ♪
♪ I’m so in love with you ♪
♪ Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ The power of love... ♪
/Frankie Goes To Hollywood — The Power Of Love/
& Rudy: Ladies and gentlemen. I’d like to dedicate this one to the most beautiful nun in all of the world...
♪ You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar ♪
♪ When I met you ♪
♪ I picked you out, I shook you up ♪
♪ I turned you around ♪
♪ Turned you into someone new... ♪
/Human League — Don’t you want me/
& Abby: You better fucking look after him. If he grows up to be a pimp, a child molester or a probation worker, I will kick your arse.
& Rudy: Oh, what?! Alex gets his dick back, Mum gets her baby back. I don’t get my beautiful nun. How the frig is that fair?
& Abby: That’s the beauty of pretending to be on community service. You’re not actually on community service.
& Greg: Do you know what they do... to people who pretend to be on community service?
& Abby: Maybe it’s meant to be... I mean, it’s the first steps to finding out who I actually am. It’s all part of some big cosmic plan...
Jess: You just stepped in some dog shit.
--
On the IMDb
Finn: How is that fair?!
& Finn: What are you doing? You heard what he said, he’s going to fuck me up all the way to fuck. And... I don’t even know what that means, but it’s not good.
& Rudy: Oh, hello! Do I detect the gentle flush of the female orgasm?
& Jess: Are you on community service?
Abby: No. Just pretending.
& Finn: Anyone fancy a drink?
Abby: I’m in... Just need a shit. I’ll meet you down there.
Finn: OK. Enjoy your shit.
& Tara: I can’t handle this... How am I supposed to have a baby? I thought I could do it, but I can’t.
Abby: Oh, it’s a design fault. Why don’t they give us bigger vaginae? How are you meant to get something so big out of something so small?.. Apparently, they suck the life out of your tits, so, er, you can kiss them goodbye.
& Abby: So, guess what happened to me.
Finn: Oh, my God!
Abby: I know. It’s totally fucked. I went to the toilet and there was this girl and she had this power. Next thing, I’m pregnant, she’s not... All the times I shagged people and never got pregnant. I go for a quiet dump and then this happens.
& Jess: Please, talk to me more about your balls!
& Rudy: I’m gonna tell him.
Jess: Don’t you fucking dare!
Rudy: Quickly tell him. Dude?!
Jess: He’s got... He’s got a fanny.
Rudy: What?! He’s got a what?!
Jess: A vagina.
Rudy: What the fuck!
Jess: Someone stole it from him. They did a swap.
Rudy: Can’t believe it. Alex the barman. He’s got a mangina.
& Finn: What about the laptop?
Abby: Yes! Good — steal the laptop, find the address, sell it on. Just need a distraction...
Finn: I’ll take care of this. .......
Abby: Are you shitting yourself? Is that the distraction? Cos I’m not sure that’s gonna work.
& Abby: That’s your power? You can spill cups of tea?
Finn: No, it... It’s telekinesis. It’s not exclusive to tea.
& Finn: No of fence, but will you shut the fuck up about Nadine?
Rudy: What do you mean?
Finn: It’s all you’ve gone on about all day. Nadine, Nadine, Nadine...
Jess: It is fucking boring.
Rudy: Usually when I meet a girl, it’s... it’s all down here. It’s dick-based. ... The first time I want to see a girl for the second time and I... I don’t know where to find her, do I?
& Abby: I’m fuckin’ starving and I’m eating for two, so I’m gonna go and get a Kit Kat.
& Rudy: Shit, I don’t know how it works. It’s storm-related, innit? All I know is where once there was a penis, there is now merely a vagina.
& Abby: So... he hasn’t got a dick and you have, but Jess would still rather be with him...
Finn: Great. Thanks for ruining the moment.
& Greg: You. I need your full name.
Abby: What for?
Greg: You’re not on the system. And if you’re not on the system, then you don’t exist.
& Greg: I... will not... allow... anarchy and chaos to overtake my community center.
& Rudy: Why does she keep running off, then?
Finn: Because she’s a girl. That’s what they do. They string you along like a little puppy and then, when you think you’ve got a chance, they end up with... some guy who works in a bar who doesn’t even have a dick.
Abby: Maybe she’s some sexy psycho werewolf who doesn’t want you finding out.
& Rudy: Shit, I’m in love with a fucking nun...
& Greg: This is a song very close to my heart. I hope you’ll like it, too...
♪ I’ll protect you from the hooded claw. ♪
♪ Keep the vampires from your door. ♪
♪ I-I-I-I ♪
♪ Feels like fire ♪
♪ I’m so in love with you ♪
♪ Dreams are like angels ♪
♪ They keep bad at bay, bad at bay ♪
♪ Love is the light ♪
♪ Scaring darkness away ♪
♪ I’m so in love with you ♪
♪ Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ The power of love... ♪
/Frankie Goes To Hollywood — The Power Of Love/
& Rudy: Ladies and gentlemen. I’d like to dedicate this one to the most beautiful nun in all of the world...
♪ You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar ♪
♪ When I met you ♪
♪ I picked you out, I shook you up ♪
♪ I turned you around ♪
♪ Turned you into someone new... ♪
/Human League — Don’t you want me/
& Abby: You better fucking look after him. If he grows up to be a pimp, a child molester or a probation worker, I will kick your arse.
& Rudy: Oh, what?! Alex gets his dick back, Mum gets her baby back. I don’t get my beautiful nun. How the frig is that fair?
& Abby: That’s the beauty of pretending to be on community service. You’re not actually on community service.
& Greg: Do you know what they do... to people who pretend to be on community service?
& Abby: Maybe it’s meant to be... I mean, it’s the first steps to finding out who I actually am. It’s all part of some big cosmic plan...
Jess: You just stepped in some dog shit.
--
On the IMDb
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