& Zibby: Have you ever thought about that?
Jesse: About what?
Zibby: How everything in life is basically improvised? There’s no script. We’re just making this up as we go... Improv is deep, man.
& Prof. Hoberg: What can you say, really? People get up and say all this great stuff about you. You know, I’m thinking, “Who in the hell are they talking about?” We just... where does the time go? This seems impossible. 37 years... 37. There comes a time in a man’s life when it hurts to do the math.
& Nat: Don’t say no. Fortune never smiles on those who say no.
& Vanessa: You went here?
Jesse: I did, yeah.
Vanessa: When’d you graduate?
Jesse: Oh, man, it was, uh... It was... a nineties.
Vanessa: That was when we were born.
& Nat: Why do I like this guy so much?
Zibby: Because he’s likable.
& Jesse: You know, he said the purpose of fiction was to combat loneliness.
Dean: Good. I never heard that.
Jesse: Yeah. Well, on the other hand... spending most of your time with an1,100-page book tends to put a dent in your social life.
Dean: Yeah. Loneliness simultaneously increased and decreased.
& Zibby: I thought of this great trick for having them annoy me less. Want to hear it?
Jesse: Okay.
Zibby: Okay, I decided to treat my parents like they’re always drunk. No, really, it works. Any time they say something irritating or offensive, I’m just like, “Oh, I can’t get mad at them. They’re drunk. It’s not their fault.” And why should I take advice from drunk people seriously?
Jesse: That’s great.
& Zibby: You think it’s cool to hale things. And it’s not. It’s boring. Talk about what you love, and keep quiet about what you don’t.
& Prof. Hoberg: You know how old I am?
Jesse: No, how old are you?
Prof. Hoberg: None of your goddamn business. Do you know how old I feel like I am?.. 19. Since I was 19, I have never felt not 19. But I shave my face, and I look in the mirror, and I’m forced to say, “This is not a 19-year-old staring back at me.”
& Prof. Hoberg: Nobody feels like an adult. It’s the world’s dirty secret.
& Jesse: What is that? What are you drinking?
Nat: H to the 2 to the O. You should have some. Got to stay hydrated.
& Nat: Be love, man. Be love!
& Zibby: Age is a stupid thing to obsess over. What if reincarnation is real, huh? Think about that. What if I’m, like, thousands of years older than you?
Jesse: Okay, that’s not really a sound argument.
Zibby: Why not?
Jesse: Because it’s like saying, “What if reality is all an illusion?” Then there are no consequences to anything. We’re completely off the hook, and I believe in consequences.
Zibby: No, you believe in guilt.
Jesse: Maybe. But guilt before we act is called morality.
& Jesse: Okay, you are the same Judith Fairfield I took British Romantic literature from?
Prof. Fairfield: “From whom I took British Romantic literature,” and yes, that’s me. But just because we screwed, don’t assume we’re suddenly... what is it you kids say nowadays? FWBs?
& Prof. Fairfield: I’ve taught at this school for over 20 years. I’ve seen the emergence of your kind like an infection... all these effete, over articulate man-boys who never learned to toughen up. Don’t be one of them. Go work with your hands. Build something. Punch someone in the face.
Jesse: Wow. Too bad Norman Mailer’s dead. would have been perfect for each other.
& Jesse: You’re a tenured professor in one of the most prestigious English departments in the country. That’s not fulfilling?
Prof. Fairfield: Sit through a faculty meeting at a liberal arts college, Mr. Young Person. I assure you, you will lose all faith in humanity.
Jesse: Okay, but what about the classroom? There had to have been some joy there. I mean, you were such a good teacher.
Prof. Fairfield: Thank you. I like to teach. I used to love it.
Jesse: What happened?
Prof. Fairfield: Life happened.
& Prof. Fairfield: Unlike you, I’m not from the “Let me tell you every sick, sordid detail of my life” generation. I value discretion. I loathe self-pity. So let’s just leave it at this: people are disappointing.
& Ana: I’m actually... this is weird. I’m actually trying to read less.
Jesse: Why?
Ana: I felt like I wasn’t watching enough television. No, I just... I started to feel like reading about life was taking time away from actually living life.
& Jesse: Listen, don’t be a genius who dies young. Be one who dies old. Being old is cool. Grow old and die old. It’s a better arc. Listen to me, man. This right now, all this stuff you’re feeling, this is a footnote, okay?
& Dean: What are you prescribing?
Jesse: There are these vampire books. The kids love ’em. Trust me, they will empty your mind completely.
& Ana: I think getting old could be really nice...
--
On the IMDb
! Soundtrack
Σ Pleasant one.
Jesse: About what?
Zibby: How everything in life is basically improvised? There’s no script. We’re just making this up as we go... Improv is deep, man.
& Prof. Hoberg: What can you say, really? People get up and say all this great stuff about you. You know, I’m thinking, “Who in the hell are they talking about?” We just... where does the time go? This seems impossible. 37 years... 37. There comes a time in a man’s life when it hurts to do the math.
& Nat: Don’t say no. Fortune never smiles on those who say no.
& Vanessa: You went here?
Jesse: I did, yeah.
Vanessa: When’d you graduate?
Jesse: Oh, man, it was, uh... It was... a nineties.
Vanessa: That was when we were born.
& Nat: Why do I like this guy so much?
Zibby: Because he’s likable.
& Jesse: You know, he said the purpose of fiction was to combat loneliness.
Dean: Good. I never heard that.
Jesse: Yeah. Well, on the other hand... spending most of your time with an
Dean: Yeah. Loneliness simultaneously increased and decreased.
& Zibby: I thought of this great trick for having them annoy me less. Want to hear it?
Jesse: Okay.
Zibby: Okay, I decided to treat my parents like they’re always drunk. No, really, it works. Any time they say something irritating or offensive, I’m just like, “Oh, I can’t get mad at them. They’re drunk. It’s not their fault.” And why should I take advice from drunk people seriously?
Jesse: That’s great.
& Zibby: You think it’s cool to hale things. And it’s not. It’s boring. Talk about what you love, and keep quiet about what you don’t.
& Prof. Hoberg: You know how old I am?
Jesse: No, how old are you?
Prof. Hoberg: None of your goddamn business. Do you know how old I feel like I am?.. 19. Since I was 19, I have never felt not 19. But I shave my face, and I look in the mirror, and I’m forced to say, “This is not a 19-year-old staring back at me.”
& Prof. Hoberg: Nobody feels like an adult. It’s the world’s dirty secret.
& Jesse: What is that? What are you drinking?
Nat: H to the 2 to the O. You should have some. Got to stay hydrated.
& Nat: Be love, man. Be love!
& Zibby: Age is a stupid thing to obsess over. What if reincarnation is real, huh? Think about that. What if I’m, like, thousands of years older than you?
Jesse: Okay, that’s not really a sound argument.
Zibby: Why not?
Jesse: Because it’s like saying, “What if reality is all an illusion?” Then there are no consequences to anything. We’re completely off the hook, and I believe in consequences.
Zibby: No, you believe in guilt.
Jesse: Maybe. But guilt before we act is called morality.
& Jesse: Okay, you are the same Judith Fairfield I took British Romantic literature from?
Prof. Fairfield: “From whom I took British Romantic literature,” and yes, that’s me. But just because we screwed, don’t assume we’re suddenly... what is it you kids say nowadays? FWBs?
& Prof. Fairfield: I’ve taught at this school for over 20 years. I’ve seen the emergence of your kind like an infection... all these effete, over articulate man-boys who never learned to toughen up. Don’t be one of them. Go work with your hands. Build something. Punch someone in the face.
Jesse: Wow. Too bad Norman Mailer’s dead. would have been perfect for each other.
& Jesse: You’re a tenured professor in one of the most prestigious English departments in the country. That’s not fulfilling?
Prof. Fairfield: Sit through a faculty meeting at a liberal arts college, Mr. Young Person. I assure you, you will lose all faith in humanity.
Jesse: Okay, but what about the classroom? There had to have been some joy there. I mean, you were such a good teacher.
Prof. Fairfield: Thank you. I like to teach. I used to love it.
Jesse: What happened?
Prof. Fairfield: Life happened.
& Prof. Fairfield: Unlike you, I’m not from the “Let me tell you every sick, sordid detail of my life” generation. I value discretion. I loathe self-pity. So let’s just leave it at this: people are disappointing.
& Ana: I’m actually... this is weird. I’m actually trying to read less.
Jesse: Why?
Ana: I felt like I wasn’t watching enough television. No, I just... I started to feel like reading about life was taking time away from actually living life.
& Jesse: Listen, don’t be a genius who dies young. Be one who dies old. Being old is cool. Grow old and die old. It’s a better arc. Listen to me, man. This right now, all this stuff you’re feeling, this is a footnote, okay?
& Dean: What are you prescribing?
Jesse: There are these vampire books. The kids love ’em. Trust me, they will empty your mind completely.
& Ana: I think getting old could be really nice...
--
On the IMDb
! Soundtrack
Σ Pleasant one.
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