& Rudy: Light-coloured trousers... Honestly, that’s a basic schoolboy error, that is, mate.
Finn: What’s wrong with these?
Rudy: We’re about to enter a war zone. It’s going to get really messy. Honestly, man, it’s going to be the most insane house party you’ve ever been to in your shitty little life. Strangers are going to fuck strangers... Heads are going to get shaved... There’ll be puke, blood, sperm and piss.
Finn: Will there be a buffet?
Rudy: Yes, there’ll be a buffet. A buffet of drugs, alcohol and shagging.
& Finn: Why have you got a 2 on your head?
Jess: Why have you got a 1?
& Rudy: Oi! Shit, mate. Oi, check this out. Turns out I’ve been going round with a bloody big 99 on me head, which, strangely enough, is the exact amount of girls I’ve slept with, dude... I keep a list... I’ve got to keep a record. I just want to keep tabs on where he’s been. It’s like service history!
Finn: Can I just say...? Long-term relationship, so no shame in that.
Rudy: There’s a shame. There’s deep shame in that.
Alex: OK. Any idea why I’ve got the number 46 on my head?
Rudy: Yes, because you are a fucking Viking. Respect to the dark horse.
& Rudy: Start working on your friggin’ digits, mate.
Finn: That is a mark of honour. It shows I’m a good person.
Rudy: Do you know...? Here we go. All right, here’s a graph, right? And down the bottom, it says “niceness”, and down the side, it says “number of times I’ve ejaculated inside a real human woman,” right? And your friggin’ graph, dude, is doing this. Are you watching? Boom!
& Finn: I don’t care about numbers. It’s not about quantity. It’s about quality.
& Rudy: Oh, my God! Hm, hm, hm, hundred. One hundred.
& Rudy: It’s him! It’s Saunders, he’s here. What you doing in there?
Richard “The Colonel” Saunders: He’s coming for us. He’s out there! The white rabbit’s coming!
& Jess: 46?.. Must have been one hell of a weekend. You could fill a coach with all those. A fuck bus. It would be an awkward journey. Mine... we could all fit inside a small car, something like a Vauxhall Corsa. We’d have a seat left over.
& Finn: Maybe we should do a bit of bedroom mathematics... find out if two can go into one.
Jess: If I’m two and I’m going into one, that would mean that I’m penetrating you.
& Holly: Why’ve you got a 99 on your head?
Rudy: That’s how aroused I am out of 100. I’m going to let you know if you get down to final three. Yeah?
& Rudy: Right, that’s a freebie. Pudding is served.
Finn: I can’t. She... She’s wasted.
Rudy: Look, mate, there is no law against fucking a wasted girl. It’s a bloody loophole is what it is. Right, this is your loophole here.
& Rudy: Finlay!
Finn: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?!
Rudy: We’ve got major problems, mate.
Finn: Can’t it wait?
Rudy: It can’t bleedin’ wait! I’ve had to wait for you to ejaculate. What more d’you want?
& Finn: What kind of rabbit?
Rudy: I don’t know what kind of fucking rabbit! They’re all the same.
Finn: Well, actually, they’re not. You’ve got the lop-eared, the American lop-eared, the French Angora...
Rudy: Just shut up. Shh, shh. Be quiet. It’s... It is a psycho rabbit and he’s wearing a suit and it’s got a golf club.
Finn: Did it have a silky coat?
& Rudy: Listen. You’re going to have to go down that way, we’ll go down this way.
Alex: Why do I have to go on my own?
Finn: Because you’re bigger than us.
Rudy: Yes, he is bigger.
& Abby: I’m Abby, by the way. So, are we all going to go on somewhere for a drink? Cos this rabbit-slaying’s thirsty work.
& Alex: It was a girl. A bloke. A transgender bloke. She wanted to be a man.
& Alex: So now you know... why we can’t be together.
--
On the IMDb
Σ As they say: ’Watching “Alice in the Wonderland” will never be the same.’
+ Abby’s nice. She could be a valuable addition to the party.
Finn: What’s wrong with these?
Rudy: We’re about to enter a war zone. It’s going to get really messy. Honestly, man, it’s going to be the most insane house party you’ve ever been to in your shitty little life. Strangers are going to fuck strangers... Heads are going to get shaved... There’ll be puke, blood, sperm and piss.
Finn: Will there be a buffet?
Rudy: Yes, there’ll be a buffet. A buffet of drugs, alcohol and shagging.
& Finn: Why have you got a 2 on your head?
Jess: Why have you got a 1?
& Rudy: Oi! Shit, mate. Oi, check this out. Turns out I’ve been going round with a bloody big 99 on me head, which, strangely enough, is the exact amount of girls I’ve slept with, dude... I keep a list... I’ve got to keep a record. I just want to keep tabs on where he’s been. It’s like service history!
Finn: Can I just say...? Long-term relationship, so no shame in that.
Rudy: There’s a shame. There’s deep shame in that.
Alex: OK. Any idea why I’ve got the number 46 on my head?
Rudy: Yes, because you are a fucking Viking. Respect to the dark horse.
& Rudy: Start working on your friggin’ digits, mate.
Finn: That is a mark of honour. It shows I’m a good person.
Rudy: Do you know...? Here we go. All right, here’s a graph, right? And down the bottom, it says “niceness”, and down the side, it says “number of times I’ve ejaculated inside a real human woman,” right? And your friggin’ graph, dude, is doing this. Are you watching? Boom!
& Finn: I don’t care about numbers. It’s not about quantity. It’s about quality.
& Rudy: Oh, my God! Hm, hm, hm, hundred. One hundred.
& Rudy: It’s him! It’s Saunders, he’s here. What you doing in there?
Richard “The Colonel” Saunders: He’s coming for us. He’s out there! The white rabbit’s coming!
& Jess: 46?.. Must have been one hell of a weekend. You could fill a coach with all those. A fuck bus. It would be an awkward journey. Mine... we could all fit inside a small car, something like a Vauxhall Corsa. We’d have a seat left over.
& Finn: Maybe we should do a bit of bedroom mathematics... find out if two can go into one.
Jess: If I’m two and I’m going into one, that would mean that I’m penetrating you.
& Holly: Why’ve you got a 99 on your head?
Rudy: That’s how aroused I am out of 100. I’m going to let you know if you get down to final three. Yeah?
& Rudy: Right, that’s a freebie. Pudding is served.
Finn: I can’t. She... She’s wasted.
Rudy: Look, mate, there is no law against fucking a wasted girl. It’s a bloody loophole is what it is. Right, this is your loophole here.
& Rudy: Finlay!
Finn: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?!
Rudy: We’ve got major problems, mate.
Finn: Can’t it wait?
Rudy: It can’t bleedin’ wait! I’ve had to wait for you to ejaculate. What more d’you want?
& Finn: What kind of rabbit?
Rudy: I don’t know what kind of fucking rabbit! They’re all the same.
Finn: Well, actually, they’re not. You’ve got the lop-eared, the American lop-eared, the French Angora...
Rudy: Just shut up. Shh, shh. Be quiet. It’s... It is a psycho rabbit and he’s wearing a suit and it’s got a golf club.
Finn: Did it have a silky coat?
& Rudy: Listen. You’re going to have to go down that way, we’ll go down this way.
Alex: Why do I have to go on my own?
Finn: Because you’re bigger than us.
Rudy: Yes, he is bigger.
& Abby: I’m Abby, by the way. So, are we all going to go on somewhere for a drink? Cos this rabbit-slaying’s thirsty work.
& Alex: It was a girl. A bloke. A transgender bloke. She wanted to be a man.
& Alex: So now you know... why we can’t be together.
--
On the IMDb
Σ As they say: ’Watching “Alice in the Wonderland” will never be the same.’
+ Abby’s nice. She could be a valuable addition to the party.
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий