Wilfred 2x5

Now

"Be here now."
Ram Dass

& Ryan: Shit!
    Wilfred: What did you do?!
    Ryan: What did I do? You ruined my shoe!
    Wilfred: And you just put a footprint on the Mona Lisa. Did you see the swirl on that masterpiece, the form, the texture, the taper of the pinch point?.. Why do I bother? You don’t know shit.

& Ryan: I’m checking interest rates. It’s been a while since I’ve had money to invest, and I want to be smart about it.
    Wilfred: Yeah, while you’re planning for the future, you’re completely missing out on the present. That’s why you’ve been stepping in shit your whole life.

& Ryan: I have a job, a girlfriend...
    Wilfred: And yet you still spend all your time worrying about what you don’t have.

& Ryan: Dogs don’t have to think about money or crime or social injustice...
    Wilfred: We don’t think about those things because our noses keep us in the present. We stop and smell the roses, every goddamn one of them. Open your nostrils and smell around you, Ryan... Dirty diapers, sour milk puddles, used tranny ass-condoms. Dude, we are so lucky we live in L.A. We really do have it all.

& Wilfred: See you on the rainbow bridge, Ryan.

---

& Wilfred: I can’t believe this is happening. I mean, I’ve heard of trauma causing blindness, like when Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles walked in on each other masturbating...

& Wilfred: Now that I can’t smell, it’s like my brain has nothing to do. It’s like time has slowed to a crawl and my head is full of these... things. They’re-they’re like voices, constantly questioning and analyzing.
    Ryan: Those are thoughts, Wilfred.
    Wilfred: Thoughts?

& Ryan: You know what you need? An activity to keep your mind busy. Read a book or something.
    Wilfred: A book? Yeah, right. Maybe if it had pictures... That moved... And sound. And Matt Damon in it. And in the middle of the movie, Matt Damon would be like... Now, there’s a book I’d like to read.

& Warner: Don’t be modest. It’s a weak trait.

& Wilfred: So, when Jenna leaves the house and I can’t see her anymore, she doesn’t cease to exist. She’s just somewhere else? No, no, no, no, that’s just crazy.

& Ryan: Did you just read that whole book?
    Wilfred: I read all of these books.
    Ryan: What’s wrong?
    Wilfred: What’s wrong? Where should I start? Uh, why is there so much injustice in the world? Why do some have so much while so many have so little? Why are children in Compton getting fatter and fatter whilst children in Beverly Hills are starving themselves to death? Why, Ryan? Why?

& Wilfred: “Critique of Pure Reason” by Immanuel Kant... Ever heard of this Kant? I love Kant.

& Ryan: Sorry I’m late.
    Kevin: Don’t ever apologize for being late. It makes you sound poor, all right?

& Ryan: Camus, Sylvia Plath, Marley and Me... Maybe you should stop reading.

& Wilfred: Do you know what I dreamt last night? ........ Nothing.

& Wilfred: This is Wilfred. Please leave a... whatever. If this is Ryan, good-bye. And if this is Bear... I’ll see you in hell!

--
On the Imdb.