My Name Is Earl 4x21

Witch Lady

& Griselda Weezmer: I do get lonely. Maybe you could come over for tea tomorrow afternoon.
   Randy: No. No.
   Earl: Yeah, I-I... I’d like that. I hear good things about tea.

& Darnell: Joy, listen. I’ve been waiting for a time to bring this up that wasn’t premenstrual, menstrual or postmenstrual, but I think I’m just gonna jump in... Why do you always have to say those kind of things?

& Randy: I’m not going in there. It’s suicide. She’ll lop off your head and make pudding out of your blood and trick people like me into eating it, and I’ll do it, Earl, because I love pudding. Even if she doesn’t give me a spoon, I don’t care. I’ll find a way.

& Randy: Hello. I’m looking for my brother Earl or any parts of him you haven’t made into pudding.

& Randy: Oh, no! We’re gonna die! And it’s gonna hurt!.. I guess this is good-bye, head. Thanks for all your hard work.

& Randy: Step one: we catch a mouse. Step two: we teach him sign language. Step three: we throw him as hard as we can up that chimney.

---

& Griselda: I’m not hurting anybody!
   Stuart: Yes, but you’re different, and that’s bad. I mean, we all have parts of ourselves that are wrong and weird and shameful, but it’s our responsibility to bury those parts very deeply and go bowling with our straight friends.

& Joy: I’m calling Darnell. He was a government assassin, and he takes vitamins. You might want to watch and see how a real man handles this kind of thing.

& Randy: Hey. That sack has the same ring tone as Darnell.

& Joy: Seriously, what the hell is with sticking people in burlap sacks before you kick them down the stairs?
   Griselda: It’s more dramatic.

& Patricia: She’s my mom.
   Randy: Hookers have moms?!

& Griselda: I’m not a monster. I’m going to let you folks decide which one of you I stab and stab and stab until you’re dead.

& Earl: Don’t you see? We labeled her as the Crazy Witch Lady, and now we’re labeling each other. The bitch, the nice guy, the gay guys, the stripper...
   Joy: Freaking Karma zombie.
   Earl: Okay, that, too.

--
On the Imdb.