& Mr. Khan: Welcome to Sparkhill Birmingham, the capital of British Pakistan.
& Mr. Khan: Chillax. I’m only joking.
& Mr. Khan: Why you always talking about bloody expensive dresses? A man doesn’t care what his bride is wearing. He’ll love you more for saving money. You know, when I married your mother, the first thing I thought when I saw her was, “She looks bloody cheap.”
Mrs. Khan: ..........
Mr. Khan: In a good way!
& Mr. Khan: You know the president of the Sparkhill Pakistani Business Association? He’s asked me to accompany him to the next meeting.
Mrs. Khan: Accompany him, like proper businessman!?
Shazia Khan: More like drive him, like proper driver.
& Mr. Khan: I want to speak to the proper manager.
Dave: I am the proper manager.
Mr. Khan: You know what I mean. The proper manager.
Dave: ’Proper’?
Mr. Khan: The brown one.
& Dave: I am a Muslim. I’m a convert.
Mr. Khan: Right. I’m not trying to be funny, mate, but you can’t be a proper Muslim, you see.
Dave: Because I’m white?
Mr. Khan: Because you’re ginger.
& Mr. Khan: You gingers are very different to the rest of us. Not so calm, frickley-freckley skin, Scottish.
Dave: I’m not Scottish.
Mr. Khan: You drink?
Dave: I used to.
Mr. Khan: You Scottish.
& Dave: I think you might be being a teeny bit racist, Mr Khan.
Mr. Khan: Me? I’m Asian. You are white, I’m racial. It is more racist you calling me racist!
& Mr. Khan: What am I supposed to say to my wife and daughter?
Dave: I’m sure they’ll understand.
Mr. Khan: You haven’t met my wife and daughter.
& Mrs. Khan: I think my heart has stopped. I’m dead! You’ve killed me!
Mr. Khan: Alia, your mother is upset. Bring fresh cup of tea. And bring one for her too.
& Amjad Malik: Maybe it’s something I’ve done?
Mr. Khan: Maybe. You never know with womens. Could be something you did, something you didn’t do, something you said, something you didn’t say. Best thing for you to do is just apologize for everything and it’ll all be tickity boo.
& Mr. Khan: This is a family matter, not Gingerholics Anonymous.
& Mrs. Khan: Don’t you want your daughter to be happy? Don’t you want her to have what we have?
Mr. Khan: Which is it? She can’t have both.
--
On the Imdb.
& Mr. Khan: Chillax. I’m only joking.
& Mr. Khan: Why you always talking about bloody expensive dresses? A man doesn’t care what his bride is wearing. He’ll love you more for saving money. You know, when I married your mother, the first thing I thought when I saw her was, “She looks bloody cheap.”
Mrs. Khan: ..........
Mr. Khan: In a good way!
& Mr. Khan: You know the president of the Sparkhill Pakistani Business Association? He’s asked me to accompany him to the next meeting.
Mrs. Khan: Accompany him, like proper businessman!?
Shazia Khan: More like drive him, like proper driver.
& Mr. Khan: I want to speak to the proper manager.
Dave: I am the proper manager.
Mr. Khan: You know what I mean. The proper manager.
Dave: ’Proper’?
Mr. Khan: The brown one.
& Dave: I am a Muslim. I’m a convert.
Mr. Khan: Right. I’m not trying to be funny, mate, but you can’t be a proper Muslim, you see.
Dave: Because I’m white?
Mr. Khan: Because you’re ginger.
& Mr. Khan: You gingers are very different to the rest of us. Not so calm, frickley-freckley skin, Scottish.
Dave: I’m not Scottish.
Mr. Khan: You drink?
Dave: I used to.
Mr. Khan: You Scottish.
& Dave: I think you might be being a teeny bit racist, Mr Khan.
Mr. Khan: Me? I’m Asian. You are white, I’m racial. It is more racist you calling me racist!
& Mr. Khan: What am I supposed to say to my wife and daughter?
Dave: I’m sure they’ll understand.
Mr. Khan: You haven’t met my wife and daughter.
& Mrs. Khan: I think my heart has stopped. I’m dead! You’ve killed me!
Mr. Khan: Alia, your mother is upset. Bring fresh cup of tea. And bring one for her too.
& Amjad Malik: Maybe it’s something I’ve done?
Mr. Khan: Maybe. You never know with womens. Could be something you did, something you didn’t do, something you said, something you didn’t say. Best thing for you to do is just apologize for everything and it’ll all be tickity boo.
& Mr. Khan: This is a family matter, not Gingerholics Anonymous.
& Mrs. Khan: Don’t you want your daughter to be happy? Don’t you want her to have what we have?
Mr. Khan: Which is it? She can’t have both.
--
On the Imdb.
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