My Name Is Earl 4x19

My Name is Alias

& Thomas: There’s a bomb in the briefcase attached to your wrist. If you don’t want your neighbors to pick up pieces of you out of their azaleas, you’ll tell me where Darnell Turner is.
   Earl: Wh... Wh... What are azaleas?

& Darnell: So when did the boys get an Xbox?
   Joy: I’m sorry, Darnell, but I had to get it for ’em. They’re not making any friends based on their personalities. I mean, you’ve seen that routine they’ve got worked out where they pick each other’s noses. And it’s our bad for laughing so hard the first time they did it.

& Darnell: I miss us eating dinner as a family.
   Joy: You think this is easy on me? I’m working my butt off. I had to come up with three different disguises to make people think we got a maid, a nanny and a gardener. Now, if you’ll excuse me, time for Carlos to mow the lawn.

& Randy: I know how I always make you say you love me before we go to sleep, but if someone’s threatening to torture or even kill the thing you love, that’s when you can keep it to yourself.

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& Earl: Okay, Randy, what’s your plan?
   Randy: All we have to do is open up the bomb, say “I hope this works,” close our eyes and cut the blue wire. I seen it a million times on TV. It’s easy.

& Randy: There are a few things I need to get off my chest before we die. First, your teeth are not whiter than mine. All right, that’s it. Is there anything you need to say to me? And if it’s that your teeth are whiter than mine, we have a big problem.

& Darnell: Dad! What a surprise. It’s been so long. How’s everything at home?
   Thomas: All your grandparents are dead and we painted the kitchen. Here are you orders. Your flight leaves in 45 minutes.

& Joy: Darnell speaks seven languages and has a black belt in three styles of fighting that end in “do.” He’s gonna be fine.
   Randy: And Earl has a real nice smile and can play “Wipeout” on his stomach. He’s gonna be fine, too.

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+ quotes on the Imdb.