My Name Is Earl 4x24

Gospel

& Darnell: You’ll have to excuse Joy. She hasn’t been winning any prizes. The only booth she’s doing well at is the wine tasting one.
   Joy: How are you supposed to win anything when the church has Jesus on their side? You don’t think he’s the one bouncing those Ping-Pong balls off the rims of the goldfish bowls?

& Earl: These are the days I’m actually glad you stole her away from me, Crab Man.
   Randy: I’m glad every day.

& Randy: My name is Randy Hickey
         and I love to smell my shoes.
         Aaaaaaaaaaaaaameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.

& Darnell: You do what you want, when you want. ’Cause all that matters to you is that you’re happy. Well, I hope you’re happy now. ’Cause we’re gonna have to kill her.
   Joy: What?
   Catalina: What?!
   Joy: Darnell, I know I said I wanted your help, but we can’t kill her! Maybe we can cut out her tongue, but we can’t kill her!

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& Darnell: I was taught a very specific moral hierarchy... God, family, country. Strippers who threaten my wife are not on my list.

& Earl: Hi, my name is White. I mean, Earl.

& — I hate kids!
   — Daddy?
   — I just love sex.

& Darnell: I’m not doing this to scare you. I’m doing this so it will hurt less.
   Catalina: Thank you.

& Catalina: Anyone who gives their husband a concussion to save me from getting my throat slit is okay by me. That’s why I’m still friends with my bitchy cousin Judy. I forgive you for all of this, Joy. I forgive you.

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On the Imdb.