Tonight We Improvise

Ozark 1×4

Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Okay. Money Laundering 101.
     Say you come across a suitcase with five million bucks in it. What would you buy? A yacht? A mansion? A sports car? Sorry. The IRS won't let you buy anything of value with it. So you better get that money into the banking system. But here's the problem. That dirty money is too clean. Looks like it just came out of a bank vault. You gotta age it up. Crumple it. Drag it through the dirt. Run it over with your car. Anything to make it look like it's been around the block.
     Next, you need a cash business. Something pleasant and joyful... with books that are easily manipulated. No credit card receipts, etcetera. You mix the five million with the cash from the joyful business. That mixture goes from an American bank... to a bank from any country that doesn't have to listen to the IRS. It then goes into a standard checking account... and voilà.
     All you need is access to one of over three million terminals, because your work is done. Your money's clean. It's as legitimate as anybody else's.

Jonah Byrde: Does it hurt?
Buddy Dieker: What?
Jonah Byrde: Dying.
Buddy Dieker: Life hurts.

Buddy Dieker: "We're born astride the grave." You know what that means?
Jonah Byrde: No.
Buddy Dieker: Sit down. It means... that we're... all dying the minute we're born. Goes fast. Don't waste it. Don't waste it.

Martin 'Marty' Byrde: I mean, did you even have a fucking plan? A stethoscope or a bobby pin at least? Jesus Christ.

Charlotte Byrde: You do know that sound carries across water, don't you?

Charlotte Byrde: You used to say, "Do whatever you're gonna do, as long as you're honest about it," right? But are either of you honest? Ever? When outright lies aren't spilling out of your mouths, you're eating fucking pancakes, pretending everything's fine...

Wendy Byrde: God Almighty, it is hot. It's not even July yet. And it's... it's really quiet. Which... you know, can either be very calming or it can drive you batshit crazy.

Bobby Dean: I ain't fucking talking to you.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: It's okay. You can just listen. 'Cause I'm just... I'm thinking out loud about... how shell companies work, you know. The... the miracle, really, that makes it possible to move money around without countries being able to track it. Uh, I'm just... I'm fascinated by it. What has me thoroughly taken is how a man can own and operate a company... without ever putting his name on it, so that every move, every transaction, is perfectly undetectable. Think about that. How's that possible? How, if you never put your name on a company, do you ever even own the company? I don't get it. I mean, it's something to ponder, isn't it? I mean, that guy would have to be in possession, physical possession, of that company's bearer shares. Yeah? The piece of paper? The deed to his empire? It would all come down to that, wouldn't it? And if he was in possession of that piece of paper... where do you think he'd keep it? You think he'd put it in a safe? In a manila envelope... in the false bottom of that safe?

Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Now, I don't go to church and I don't consider myself a Christian. I don't consider myself anything, but I do like to think that I follow a certain code...

Wendy Byrde: ... And quite frankly, I don't give a shit if you like it or not. 'Cause I feel pretty good about it. It's a good idea, and I did it for our family. What'd you do today... for our family?
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: .... Bought a strip club.

Jacob Snell: Redneck and a hillbilly are strolling along a country lane, talking about the Garden of Eden. The redneck, drinking whiskey as he walks... believes that Adam and Eve had every right to take that apple... for, if God were kind... why would he forbid them from partaking in that delicious fruit? The hillbilly listens and nods. Then the redneck finishes the bottle and throws it onto the path. When the hillbilly frowns... the redneck says, "Judge not, lest ye be judged." When the hillbilly frowns again, redneck says, "You judge doubly, you sin twice." Whereupon God smites the redneck dead. Hillbilly... forever silent and diligent... digs the redneck's grave... fashions a humble tombstone from the empty bottle, and walks on. That eve... he witnesses the most beautiful sunset ever 'fore made...

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