The Help

Modern Family 5×6

& Mitchell: We’re getting married in seven months.
    Cameron: Or eight months.
    Mitchell: I worry about it raining in April.
    Cameron: Well, I worry about me sweating in May.

& Jay: That’s a nonstarter. Keep looking.
    Gloria: But he’s perfect!
    Jay: He’s a man. It’s weird. He’s a weird man. He’s like Phil, only I have to pay for him.

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& Frank Dunphy: Have you ever touched the smooth, taut skin of a 48-year-old woman?
    Phil: I hope to one day, but that’s not gonna happen if Claire gets home and—

& Mitchell: I dreamt our wedding made the cover of Modern Gay Grooms and that there was a magazine called Modern Gay Grooms.

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