Raisin Balls and Wedding Bells

The Last Man on Earth 1×3

& Carol: Do you, Phil, take me, Carol, to be your wife?.. Hmm?
    Phil: I do?

& Carol: It’s official. We’re married! Aren’t you excited?
    Phil: It’s a friggin’ fairy tale.

& Phil: Everyone’s still dead. Oh, thank God.

& Carol: So, Phil, I was thinking... Since the President of the United States is dead and we’re the last two people on earth, one of us should probably be the President of the United States.
    Phil: Fine, Carol. You be the President.

& Carol: I made you a very special dish... It’s spaghetti, but instead of meatballs, it’s Raisin Balls... They look the same, but they taste very different.

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& Carol: Okay, I’m gonna leave you alone, ’cause it’s your last night as a free man. Probably want to... Masturbate to your magazines and such. But I just want you to know... I’m gonna make a really great wife.
    Phil: I’m sure you will, Carol.

& Carol: What? You can’t buy me a Goldarn ring? I’m trying so hard to Raisin Ball the hell out of this ceremony, but you are the worst. Just forget it.

& Phil: I-I wanted to say something... Carol, you drive me crazy. You don’t get my jokes. You correct my grammar. You talk and talk and talk and talk, and you pester me worse than my mother. It really annoys me when-when you do that stuff.
    Carol: Oh, you are no picnic yourself, Mr. Porn J... Rat-beard... Poopy-pool... The third...

& Carol: Phil... Your presence is requested in the bedroom.

& Carol: Oh, my God, I can’t believe I just had sex with the President of the United States.

& Phil: You know, Carol, I thought this whole marriage thing was just gonna be an absolute disaster. But I got to say, it’s surprisingly... Tolerable.
    Carol: Yeah, totally bearable.

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On the IMDb