Dunk the Skunk

The Last Man on Earth 1×5

& Carol: And then he said, «Have you ever heard the phrase ’I wouldn’t have sex with you
if you were the last person on Earth’?» And then two days later somebody changed his tune. Didn’t you, you little tunesmith?

& Phil: I was just thinking, how crazy is it that there was a time when Rosa Parks couldn’t sit on a bus wherever she wanted to, you know? And then just one day she just said, like, «No. No way. I’m gonna sit wherever I want to.» You know? Hey, to Rosa Parks and everyone like her who believes in change... So would it be safe to say that, leaving this conversation, I would not be crazy to describe you as an open-minded person who believes in change and is generally in favor of repopulation?
    Melissa: Yeah.
    Phil: I’m the exact same way.

& Phil: I just had a moment of sickening clarity, and I just was forced to ask myself a question that no future parent should deserve to ask themself.
    Carol: What question?
    Phil: Carol, do you want our babies to have sex with each other?
    Carol: No, Phil! No.
    Phil: I know! I don’t either!

& Carol: You want to have sex with Melissa?!
    Phil: No, I don’t want to have sex with Melissa. Ew. I have to have sex with Melissa.
    Carol: Phil, this hurts my ears.
    Phil: Carol, it hurts my lips to say it.

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& Phil: Carol, we cannot put our babies in a situation where they have to have sex with each other. Our babies need other babies to have sex with. I mean, that’s just Parenting 101.

& Phil: We shouldn’t be fighting. We should be having fun. I mean, you can’t stay mad at me forever. I’m the last man on Earth.

& Carol: Phil, we think... that you should repopulate with Melissa as well.
    Phil: .... This a trick? It feels like a trick. Is it a trick?

& Carol: Okay, Phil, I would tread lightly, ’cause you are walking real close to skunk territory right now. Watch it!

& Carol: Well, you smell clean. I suppose you washed your genitals real nice for her?

& Carol: Don’t embarrass us. Also, your sex with Melissa should be vigorous but not fun, thorough but not sexy. Save the fun stuff for your wife.
    Phil: Care Bear, relax, okay? This is a job to me.

& Todd: Hey. I’m Todd.

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On the IMDb