Two and a Half Men 3x21

And the Plot Moistens

& Kandi: Alan, do you ever fantasize when we’re making love?
    Alan: Well, occasionally I pretend that I’m better looking. What about you?
    Kandi: Sometimes I imagine we’re in the middle of a big department store.
    Alan: Having sex?
    Kandi: No, shopping. Why would I fantasize about having sex while I’m having sex? Do you think about ham and cheese when you’re eating a sandwich?
    Alan: Can’t argue with that.

& Alan: How’s it going?
    Charlie: Forget it, Alan. I only do the after-sex chat with people I’ve just had sex with.
    Alan: Come on. She’s playing Family Feud with her toes.
    Charlie: I don’t care if she’s playing banjo with her nipples.

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& Jake: She say what I’m in trouble for?
    Charlie: Nope.
    Jake: Boy, it’s the not knowing that drives you crazy.
    Charlie: Yeah, like a pregnancy test...
    Jake: Yeah... I don’t get it.

& Kandi: Sixth grade was the happiest two years of my life...

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+ quotes on the Imdb.