The Big Bang Theory 5x23

The Launch Acceleration

& Howard: Oh! Oh... I’m not gonna die in space! I’m gonna die the way God intended, in my late 50s, with a heart full of pastrami.

& Leonard: Why are you wearing long underwear?
    Sheldon: You’re kidding. Shouldn’t the question be: why aren’t you?
    Leonard: No, it should be: why are you?
    Sheldon: Leonard, these rental tuxedos have been worn by hundreds of sweaty strangers. I don’t like my own sweat touching my skin, how do you think I feel about theirs?

& Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me... You watch Star Trek; I live it.
    Raj: Oh, please. I don’t remember the episode of Star Trek where the guy never goes to space and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
    Howard: Make all the jokes you want, but there’s only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.

& Penny: Hey, you.
    Leonard: Before I come in, you should know, I have gas.
    Penny: For the record, not your worst opening line.

& Leonard: Here. Breathe this in.
    Penny: B-Before I do it, if you’re a cop you have tell me, right?

& Penny: Hey... you know how we’ve been... taking things slow?
    Leonard: Mm-hmm.
    Penny: Well, I’ve been thinking, and... maybe I’m ready to... take things a little... faster.
    Leonard: Oh... great. And I promise, after waiting four months, fast is what you’re gonna get.

& Sheldon: Amy? Amy? Amy?
    Amy: 7:00, right on time.
    Sheldon: It’s not an accident. I waited outside your door for 20 minutes.

& Leonard: I crossed a line. I didn’t mean to!
    Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?!
    Leonard: I don’t know, it just came out. People say weird things during sex all the time.
    Penny: Okay, well, they sure as hell don’t say that.
    Leonard: It was the heat of the moment.
    Penny: No, the heat of the moment is, “Ooh, yeah, just like that,” not “will you marry me?”

---

& Howard: NASA really wants my telescope up on the space station, so they’re putting me on an earlier launch.
    Bernadette: When?
    Howard: A... week from Friday.
    Bernadette: What? We’re getting married that Sunday!
    Howard: You’re right! I-I can’t go to space. I have to get married, and no one can say that’s not a good reason. I’ll call him back.

& Sheldon: It gets worse. Her efforts are causing me to have affectionate feelings for her at inappropriate times.
    Leonard: You mean, like in bed or in the shower?
    Sheldon: No! Would you please stop referencing that infernal book?! For example, this morning, I was calculating the random motion of virtual particles in a vacuum, when suddenly the particles morphed into an image of Amy’s dandruff... gently cascading down onto her pale, slightly hunched shoulders... What has that vixen done to me, Leonard?! And how do I make it stop?
    Leonard: Well, if you had a physical relationship, I’d say propose during sex. Turns out that’s a real mood kill.
    Sheldon: I assume we’re talking about you now?
    Leonard: Yeah.
    Sheldon: So, that’s how this works? I complain, and then you complain, and no one offers any solutions?
    Leonard: Pretty much.
    Sheldon: Well, no wonder the women are winning.

& Mr. Rostenkowski: Let me tell you something. When I first met you... You just gonna stand there?
Howard: I’m sorry, I didn’t know, is this going to... Well, I should sit... May I be seat... Well, I’ll just sit.
    Mr. Rostenkowski: When I first met you, I didn’t like you.
    Howard: I’m aware of that, sir.
    Mr. Rostenkowski: But then you and I had some time together...
    Howard: Uh-huh.
    Mr. Rostenkowski: It did not get better.

& Howard: All right, look, I’m gonna level with you. I’m terrified about going into space. What if I don’t make it back?
    Mr. Rostenkowski: It’s gonna be okay, son.
    Howard: You really think so?
    Mr. Rostenkowski: Of course. A pretty girl like Bernadette... she’ll find a new guy.

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+ quotes on the Imdb.

__ It becomes hotter and hotter.