House M.D. 8x20

Post Mortem

& Wilson: Yes, it’s mine. And yes, I know that I can’t drive stick. And no, I don’t care that I parked in a handicapped spot.
    House: “Staring death in the face has changed my life.” What a cliche.
    Wilson: The cliche is to lead a more meaningful life. I’ve taken a holy vow to lead a less meaningful one. I’ve spent my life caring, giving, and searching for the profound. Now it’s time for selfishness, indifference, and embracing the shallow*.

& Wilson: Indifference.

& House: Interesting. Cotard delusion. Also known as “walking corpse syndrome.” ... Case solved. Rendering it... What’s the past-tense of “interesting?”

& Foreman: Treiber won’t let any other doctor near him. He trusts your work.
    Chase: Treiber’s the patient?
    House: What’s the future tense of “interesting”?

& Dr. Treiber: [Houses’s] diagnostic error metric is .17 compared to the hospital average of .32.
    Adams: You actually think you can quantify the value of every doctor?
    Treiber: Someone should.

& Park: Every doctor, every diagnosis, every treatment, every result. It’s pretty impressive.
    Taub: It’s pretty Orwellian. All written in his secret code.

& Wilson: Thought we’d make it a road trip. ’80s music, junk food, beer...
    House: I have a dental appointment. That I’m going to make now.

& Taub: You want to lie to a guy whose favorite pastime is getting doctors fired?
    Chase: We’re adults with advanced medical training, not children left alone with scissors. It’s one X-ray.

---

& House: If we had a phone, we could’ve found somewhere a little less charming.
    Wilson: If we had a phone, you’d be making calls, downloading porn, and playing Angry Birds. This trip is about me, and I like this place.

& House: Bacon burger with fries looks awful... I’ll have that.
    Wilson: I’ll have... the Big One.
    Waitress: You sure? It’s $79.
    Wilson: Unless I finish it in an hour, in which case, it’s free.
    House: It’s an 80-ounce steak.
    Wilson: I’m hungry... And an iced tea, please.

& House: This place doesn’t take credit cards.
    Wilson: My meal is going to be free, and I’m going to be inducted into the wall of pain.
    House: Hello, Kyle.

& Treiber: No hard feelings, right?
    Chase: You’ll find out when you wake up. If you really think I’m a good doctor, why do you treat me like an idiot?
    Treiber: It’s not because you lack talent. It’s ’cause you’ve wasted it.

& House: Must be nice to be puking for the old-fashioned reasons.

& Treiber: You’ve been given everything. Looks, talent, my future... Nine years later, look what you’ve done with it.

& Chase: When House was in prison, you worked at Mercy in plastics, right? Know what I did?.. Surfed. For nine months. {...} A fellowship’s supposed to train you to stand on your own. Foreman’s Dean of the hospital, Cameron’s head of emergency medicine in Chicago.
    Taub: And Kutner and Amber are dead, and Thirteen is having sweet, sapphic sex on some island.

& Wilson: I want a threesome.
    House: Shouldn’t we try a twosome first?
    Wilson: Two women.
    House: Oh.

& Wilson: Bartender seems nice.
    House: Seems female.

& House: So, how was it? Was the amateur as good as the pro?
    Wilson: It was confusing... Perfunctory*... A bit sad.
    House: Never mind.
    Wilson: ...And exactly what I needed. Thank you. You feel like buying me breakfast?.. One of them stole my wallet.

& House: Wallets go in the minibar freezer. If there’s no minibar, the toilet tank.

& Chase: And when this case is over, I’m quitting.

& House: This is Oubliette, Ohio. Buses don’t run here after 1968.
    Wilson: Ina said there’s a bus every 15 minutes.
    House: Ina is living in Alzheimersville. Been here at least half an hour.
    Wilson: Where are you going, Ina?
    Ina: Naples, Florida.

& House: Good-bye, Kyle...
    Ina: Bus comes every 15 minutes.
    House: Oh, shut up.

& Chase: You didn’t come down here as my boss or my friend. You came down as House. You’re trying to insult me into making a decision.
    Foreman: We’ve both seen it work... Either you rise to the challenge and quit, or you stay. As a team member.

& Wilson: I blew it.
    House: Oh, God, here it comes.

& Chase: My locker key.

Kathleen Edwards — A Soft Place to Land

♪ You think this is easy ♪
♪ Without any strings attached ♪
♪ Well, I’m lookin’ for ♪
♪ a soft place to land ♪
♪ The palms of your hands ♪
♪ I’m lookin’ for ♪
♪ a soft place to land ♪

& House: You come here so I could talk you out of it?
    Chase: I came to say thank you.

& House: It’s been fun.
    Chase: Fun?!
    House: Sounded pithier* than... “We’ve shared a variety of situations.”

& House: Legal loophole. 13th Amendment. Abraham Lincoln may have looked great in that hat, but his labor policies........
    Wilson: House?......

--
shallow — мелкий; поверхностный; пустой
Perfunctory — поверхностный; формальный; небрежный
pithy — содержательный; сжатый

On the Imdb.