House M.D. 8x19

The C-Word

& House: Is that our precious little bundle of tumor?

& Wilson: How did you know I was here?
    House: How do you think?
    Wilson: Foreman.
    House: Actually, that would have been easier. No, I followed you.

& House: I’m here as a towering pillar of strength.
    Wilson: Be a pillar in the parking lot.
    House: No. How many times have I told you I wanted to be alone and you’ve made yourself a pain in the ass? I owe you.

& Taub: House taking time off is a bad sign.
    Adams: “A bad sign...” You think the apocalypse is coming because House wants to be there for Wilson?
    Taub: Yes. You’re new.

& Chase: Elizabeth Lawson... Emily Lawson...
    Dr. Elizabeth Lawson: I’m here as a doctor, not a mother.

& Wilson: We’re done here. I’ll look for a doctor with some actual balls.
    Dr. Mike: Hey, you need to talk to your friend. He’s embarrassing himself. A doctor should be able to handle his own illness with a little bit more dignity.
    House: ...I agree with Wilson.
    Mike: My recommended treatment is sound.
    House: No, I meant about the ball-less part. Explains the office.

& Elizabeth: They’re gonna take you for an MRI now.
    Adams: It means “magic really cool images.”
    Emily Lawson: I thought it stood for “magnetic resonance imaging.”
    Simon: We’ve spent a lot of time in hospitals.

& Elizabeth: I don’t mean to pull rank here, but I am her mother.
    Chase: I thought you said you were here as a doctor.
    Elizabeth: And as a doctor, I need parental consent. See above. While I’m gone, please start her on Chelation Therapy.

& Chase: She’s the mother... So let’s treat her like any other mother.

& Wilson: Go away. I have a headache.
    House: We don’t have to have sex. Sometimes it’s nice just to cuddle and talk.

& House: Question is, why didn’t you tell me? Because you knew I’d stop you. Which means... you’ve already found someone... insane enough... or desperate enough to give you what amounts to a death dose of chemicals. But who would be that stupid? I’m thinking that the who is you. Where exactly were you planning on killing yourself?

& Wilson: I am not going to die slowly in a hospital bed under fluorescent lighting with people stopping by to gawk* and lie about how I look. Even a small chance of that happening is too big a chance for me!
    House: ...You’re an idiot. And the odds say you’re gonna die... We’ll do it at my place.

& House: To stupidity! ... Mm, not quite done. To muscle aches, spasms... To your joints feeling like they’re being ripped out and replaced with shards of broken glass.
    Wilson: Should I be writing any of this down?
    House: Your stomach fills with bile. When you vomit, it feels like someone’s forcing a white hot hammer down your esophagus, tearing your flesh. Blood’s dripping down the back of your throat, choking and gagging you with the slick, coppery taste of burnt pennies.
    Wilson: I am an Oncologist. I know...
    House: If you did, we wouldn’t be sitting here. Day two: Your white blood cells are gone, opening up your system to attack. Your temperature skyrockets. One second, your skin feels like it’s on fire. The next second, it’s entombed in ice. Every pain sensor in your body is firing at the same time until agony isn’t even a word or a concept... it’s your only reality. You hallucinate... You dream of death... And then the race begins. Can your body claw its way back in time before the hostile organisms and parasites claim you permanently?.. Win, you live. Lose, you die... Now what are we doing here, Wilson?

---

& Wilson: If things go wrong, I just want you to know...
    House: If you’re gonna say that you’ve always been secretly gay for me... everyone always just kind of assumed it.

& John: You said it wasn’t my fault.
    Wilson: It wasn’t, John.
    John: If I didn’t do nothing wrong, why did I die?
    Wilson: I don’t know.

& House: Are you okay? I mean, apart from the pain, vomiting, diarrhea, and cramps?

& Wilson: I need more morphine.
    House: We’re out. You’ve been using my personal supply of painkillers for the last eight hours.
    Wilson: You have... you have enough for both of us?
    House: I’ve got enough stashed around here for a minyan.

& Wilson: It’s pathetic! I’m pathetic! An oncologist with cancer... Of all the things that could be killing me... It’s like the universe is giving me the big middle finger.
    House: The universe doesn’t care...
    Wilson: Why me?!

& Wilson: I’m always telling my patients not to torture themselves, because there’s no answer.
    House: Sound advice.
    Wilson: It’s cruel advice. They were just trying to make sense of what was happening to them, and I’m there telling them not to bother?!.. I should have spent my life being more like you. Should have been a manipulative, self-centered, narcissistic ass who brought misery to everything and everyone in his life.
    House: You’d still have cancer.
    Wilson: Yeah! But at least I’d feel like I deserved it.

& Wilson: Win or lose. Win or lose. That was the deal.
    House: That was the deal when there was an “or”. You can’t win this.
    Wilson: No. No. I’d rather die here. Not in an ambulance. Not in a hospital. Please, you can’t do that to me.

& Chase: We’re on our own here, so just give me some theories we can use.

& Wilson: I seem to recall I said some things to you...
    House: You talked a lot. I stopped listening after you confessed your fear of dolphins.

& Wilson: I thought you said you had plenty of Vicodin.
    House: Everybody lies.
    Wilson: So the way I felt, you feel that, what... most of the time? It really does suck being you, doesn’t it?
    House: At least I don’t have cancer.

Any Way You Want It — Journey

♪ Any way you want it ♪
♪ that’s the way you need it ♪
♪ any way you want it ♪
♪ she loves to laugh ♪
♪ she loves to sing ♪
♪ she does everything ♪
♪ she loves to move ♪
♪ she loves to groove ♪
♪ she loves the lovin’ things ♪
♪ ooh, all night ♪
♪ all night ♪
♪ oh, every night ♪

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