No One Wants an Argument About Reality

Avenue 5 2×1

Elena: The chicken's good. It's not bad, is it?
Ryan Clark: Yeah. When you think that it's just reconstituted eel protein, it's actually-- it's actually all right.
Elena: But are the portions getting smaller?
Ryan Clark: No, I think you're just eating it from farther away, so it looks...

Ryan Clark: Because I am captain... anything I say is automatically seductive. Pass the salt...

Matt Spencer: Hey, Ryan, this is just your daily reminder to tell the passengers that they're gonna be stuck on this elegant space finger for nearly a decade.

Matt Spencer: You have to tell the truth, Ryan. Should I use a more aggressive tack? Because I find that British people often respond better to abuse than encouragement.
Ryan Clark: Now, look, Matt, you telling me that my breath smells like a cat's back passage is not gonna make me tell them any quicker.

Ryan Clark: ...if I tell the passengers that we are stuck up here for another eight years and the food is running out, I'm gonna become the next all-you-can-eat buffet.

Spike Martin: Ryan, it's time to retract your head from your ass. Don't be afraid of the truth.
Ryan Clark: I'm not afraid of the truth! I'm just afraid of it leaving my lips.

Herman Judd: Well, the good news is, is we only have to deal with four more weeks of that. I mean, Captain Ryan would've told us if the trip is gonna be any longer. Unless he has a good reason not to, which he doesn't. Not that I'd know.

Devon: Isn't this your ship?
Herman Judd: Ship... Yeah, name only. You know, you could just as easily blame Martin Luther King for king-sized beds.
Mads: Blame him for kings.
Herman Judd: Or kings.
Mads: Or sizes.

Rav Mulcair: And so... The passengers will be split into two groups. The first group... the Guaranteed... will be fed. The second group will be given a chance to...

Ryan Clark: That's it? That's your plan? That we turn half the passengers into a screaming, underfloor heating system?

Herman Judd: I have a question. What the fuck?

Matt Spencer: Look, is it not better that half of us die quickly than that all of us starve slowly, just to play devil's advocate?

Spike Martin: You're gonna have to tell them we're not going home in a month, Ryan.
Ryan Clark: Not going to do it. You can't make me tell them. I'm going to go and gargle some bleach now, so my voice box packs in.
Billie McEvoy: No, that will actually kill you.
Ryan Clark: Added bonus.

Rav Mulcair: I mean, you can only work with the options you're given. Mass death or selective death. There's no vegan option. I'm sorry.

Billie McEvoy: Really? You're gonna do it? You-- You-- You're gonna tell them?
Ryan Clark: I am resisting with every fiber of my being, which is how I know it's the right thing to do.

Frank Kelly: I was protecting her. It's like, you know, sometimes the best way of protecting someone is by subjugating them.

Matt Spencer: Okay, but, Frank, the vow is "to have and to hold," right? Not "hold hostage."
Rav Mulcair: It's always the quiet ones...

Billie McEvoy: No, no, no. Come on. You're gonna be great. You want to rehearse the whole thing with me?
Ryan Clark: No thanks. You don't rehearse expelling kidney stones. No, I just, I've got to go in there and just do it.

Devon: What's the maximum speed of this craft?
Herman Judd: Good question. What a good question. And one I wish I could answer, but I feel like it would be culturally insensitive to our captain, Captain Ryan, who is in charge of this ship and this voyage and any changes that happen to the voyage that cannot be known by us, or specifically by me.

Karen Kelly: Ryan, is it true? That nobody knows we're here for eight years?
Ryan Clark: See, I-- I thought I was doing the passengers a service. They've had five months in a state of blissful ignorance.

Ryan Clark: Ladies and gentlemen, I do have an announcement. It appears that we may not be returning to Earth for a considerable number of months.

Billie McEvoy: We're heading towards the Sun!

Ryan Clark: Look, look, whatever-- whatever happens, I promise you everything will be okay--

Iris Kimura: Hello, Avenue 5! This is mission control. Comms are back up. Is everything okay?
Ryan Clark: Yeah. Everything's fine. Just one small issue...
Iris Kimura: Okay. Everyone here has your best interests at heart. Mission control. Families. The list is endless.

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