Michael Scott Paper Company

The Office 5×21

Michael Scott: It's Britney, bitch, and I am back in the form of a new company, the Michael Scott Paper Company.

Michael Scott: They took away my parking space, but they can't take away my pride.

Pam Beesly: I make that one copy and I become the girl who makes copies. And by the end of the day, I'm receptionist again... And the worst part is I like making copies. The paper comes out all warm and stuff... And it's cold in there, because it's technically a closet.

Michael Scott: They're getting on my nerves, Mom. Both of them. R thinks he's too good to be here and P is not as much fun without Jim.
Pam Beesly: Michael, we can hear you.
Michael Scott: I'm on the phone, please! Mom, I'm gonna have to call you back. P's being a giant B.

Michael Scott: They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends and they are right. So, I hired my best friends...

Michael Scott: Okay. There are four corners in this room. Each corner is to be a personal space for each one of you. Whichever corner you want, and make it your own.

Creed Bratton: These are terrible, boss. You got to make them in a circle, so that they cook evenly.
Michael Scott: They're shaped like paper.
Creed Bratton: Well, I don't even want these.
Meredith Palmer: I'll take them for my kid.

Michael Scott: I once had a dream that I was eating a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich, and let me tell you something, it was delicious. So, the next day, I decided to make that sandwich. And in real life it is disgusting.
Pam Beesly: It is a disgusting sandwich.
Michael Scott: And the reason I tell you this story...

Michael Scott: Give him a guarantee.
Pam Beesly: A guarantee of what?
Michael Scott: Just say the word.
Pam Beesly: And I guarantee that you will be satisfied, because your satisfaction is our guarantee. We guarantee it.

Pam Beesly: Yes! I made a sale!

Michael Scott: Who would have thought that the thing that would save this company would be work?... And pancakes.

Michael Scott: I realize that we don't have the biggest office, which is a surprise, because 165 square feet sounds like a lot. But we have people with the biggest hearts, and I think for a small company, that is really...
Pam Beesly: Someone went to the bathroom.
Michael Scott: That is really what's important.

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