The One with the Ultimate Fighting Champion

Friends 3×24

Rachel: How did it go with Pete?
Phoebe: Tell us.
Monica: You're not gonna believe this. So I go...

Tomas: Why? What is wrong with me?
Tim: What's the matter?
Tomas: Tim... I have a feeling... my wife is sleeping with her gynecologist.
Tim: How do you know?
Tomas: He's got access.
Tim: I know...
Tomas: It's a feeling you get. Like when you're in somebody else's bowling shoes?
Tim: That's the one!

Rachel: What was the big news Pete wanted to tell you? Or should I say, "Mrs. Monica Becker"?
Phoebe: Oh, keep your name. Don't take his name.
Monica: He didn't ask me to marry him.
Phoebe: Aw. Then definitely don't take his name!

Phoebe: Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant... or inside his shower drain?

Monica: You are insane! You've got to give this up!
Pete: I can't until I'm the Ultimate Fighter. I will do it. The day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight... me or Superman. Not that I could beat Superman, but kids are stupid.

Monica: Please listen to me. You are terrible at this, okay? You are the worst Ultimate Fighter ever. Ever!
Pete: I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm... and a severely bruised Adam's apple, but that really hurt.

Ross: This is ironic. Your last boyfriend, Richard, didn't want to have kids. And from the looks of it, now Pete can't.

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