RussFest

Silicon Valley 6×6

Dinesh: If this comes out, I'll cover your ass if you cover mine.
Gilfoyle: If what comes out?

Richard: Dodgy gadin, my merry knights of Piper! Sir Owen, doing valiant battle with the authentication service...

Richard: Oh, and prithee, Becky, my queen, how goeth cashless payments?

Richard: Ho, ho! Good Friar Gabriel. How dost thou fair with the ticketing module?

Gilfoyle: Based on the amount of work left to do and the number of hours left before the festival, I decided to task Son of Anton to use machine learning to debug some of our code.

Richard: Okay, well, your AI just failed, epically.
Gilfoyle: That's unclear. It's possible that Son of Anton decided that the most efficient way to get rid of all the bugs was to get rid of all the software, which is technically and statistically correct. But... artificial neural nets are sort of a black box, so we'll never know for sure.

Richard: From now on, Son of Anton is banned. Just write code like a normal human fucking being, please.

Danny: Is there something you wanna tell us?
Richard: I respect you all?...

Monica: You're using underage girls as slave labor for a fake Amazon review farm?!

Jared: Let's boot those meddling bums off of the network! Enough of this crap!!
Richard: Yeah. Well, uh, that's impossible 'cause the whole point of a decentralized network is to prevent a single host from controlling access. So dictators can't ban dissidents. Right now, there's no way to kill them or stop them throttling the network.
Gilfoyle: This is why things are easier in China...

Jian-Yang: Monica, for the last five years, you have been horrible. You never smile. You never kiss me. I'll never give you anything you want. I hate you.

Jian-Yang: You and I, we could've run this town, but you blew it, mister.

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Laurie: Your compression is inadequate in the face of bottlenecks that emerge between node-cluster edges. Pied Piper does not scale. ...
Richard: That can't be right.
Laurie: And yet it is. I wish we had plagiarized more functional code...

Jared: Well, she's just a hater, and, no disrespect, but she can eat shit.

Dinesh: You'll think of something, right? Richard?...

Richard: Six. Fucking!! Years!!! Six years... we've wasted!

Richard: I'm fine. I just gotta go to the bathroom.

Gilfoyle: So, you fucked around with Son of Anton's brain, and then gave him access to our entire network infrastructure, while it's still running?
Richard: Yes!
Dinesh: Richard, that's like asking a robot to change your tire while you're driving on the freeway!

Gilfoyle: And what the fuck is Son of Anton version 2.0?

Dinesh: This is not my fault. I barely touched Gilfoyle's AI.

Richard: What did we do?
Gilfoyle: We?

Jared: Wait, is that right? It's at... 145%?
Dinesh: Now 160%. Okay, how is this possible?

Richard: My middle-out, Gilfoyle's AI, whatever the fuck Dinesh did to Gilfoyle's AI...
Dinesh: I basically rewrote the entire thing.
Richard: You guys, it worked. It-It-It happened.

Jared: You... are like the three musketeers of coding, except you are all d'Artagnan.

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