The Bad Beginning: Part One

A Series of Unfortunate Events 1×1

Lemony Snicket: This story will be dreadful, melancholy and calamitous, a word which here means "dreadful and melancholy."

Lemony Snicket: If you are interested in stories with happy endings, then you would be better off somewhere else. In this story, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning, and very few happy things in the middle.

Lemony Snicket: This would be a perfect time to leave and pretend the rest of the story was just as happy and successful.

~ ~ ~

Count Olaf: Do you know what this is?
Klaus: It looks like a list.
Count Olaf: Wrong! It's a list. A list of chores. Rich brats like you are probably spoiled rotten and have never done a chore in your life.

Count Olaf: Well, welcome to your lucky life.

Violet: First of all, first impressions are often wrong--
Count Olaf: Very true. For example, your first impression of me may be that I am a terrible person. But in time, Baudelaires, I hope you'll come to realize... you haven't the faintest idea.

Justice Strauss: A library is like an island in a vast sea of ignorance. Don't you agree?
Klaus: I do. Particularly if the library is tall and the surrounded area has been flooded.

Lemony Snicket: There are many, many things that are better than nothing. A home-cooked meal is better than nothing. A roof over one's head is better than nothing.
And a place to sleep, even if the bed is very small and the blanket damp with tears, is better than nothing. But being raised in a violent and sinister environment by a man more interested in one's fortune than comfort and well-being is not better than nothing.

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