Other People's Children

Modern Family 5×17

& Jay: Now, who’s ready to watch some basketball?
    Mitchell: I don’t know. Unlike you, I don’t need a reason to watch a bunch of guys run around in shorts.
    Jay: Don’t ruin this for me like you did with Olympic diving.

& Andy: Oh, man, you can make fun of me all you want, but when you grow up, you’ll see what qualities make up a real man.
    Phil: Someone say «makeup»?

& Luke: What’s this thing?
    Jay: A table vise.
    Luke: Table vise, ta...
    Jay: No. I already went through this with Mitchell. That’s what we’re here to prevent.

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& Jay: Didn’t your dad teach you any of this stuff?
    Luke: He says the only tool you need is a sense of humor. ’Cause who needs the jaws of life if you have a good knock-knock joke?

& Luke: Really? The neck?
    Jay: Yeah, a kiss on the neck opens all kinds of doors.

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