The Colonization Application

The Big Bang Theory 8×17

& Sheldon: We have some exciting news!

& Penny: This is why I’ve been saying we should keep champagne on ice!
    Sheldon: Sarcasm?
    Amy: Yes.
    Sheldon: Okay. That was tricky, ’cause when it comes to alcohol, she generally means business.

& Leonard: Who would’ve thought you two would be the first in our group to start a family?
    Sheldon: Mm-hmm.
    Amy: That’s what I said!

& Emily: I thought it was a little unfair that she’s always here, and you never get a chance to stay over, so... I killed her.
    Raj: But remember our agreement? You can joke about murdering people, but you have to say, «Just kidding.»
    Emily: And the more important thing to remember is that I’d never hurt you...

& Sheldon: What should we name him? You know, I came in thinking «Seth,» but... he kind of looks Italian.

& Penny: I’m not even sure why we were out of breath. Uh, I mean, d-did we move at all?
    Leonard: Maybe along the z-axis, but x and y are looking pretty sad.

& Amy: You know what? Go to Mars, Sheldon.

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& Howard: You’re not gonna have time to glue it back on— you’ll have to nail it.
    Raj: With what?
    Howard: Does she have any pillows or wine glasses?
    Raj: She does.
    Howard: Great. Neither of those. Try a hammer!

& Sheldon: I was going to make you red zinger, but since Mars is the red planet, I went with peppermint.

& Sheldon: I believe, as a scientist, it’s my duty to push the boundaries of human knowledge forward. Now, I know that life on Mars will be difficult. But life here on Earth is no picnic. Also, picnics are no picnic.

& Raj: This looks terrible. She-she’s gonna know.
    Howard: It’s fine. You just need two more nails.
    Raj: Okay, where should I put them?
    Howard: In Emily’s eyes.

& Bernadette: She sounds really mad...
vHoward: We should hang up.
    Bernadette: Yeah, we should...
    Howard: But we’re not going to, are we?
    Bernadette: Not a chance.

& Amy: Are you asking me to go to Mars with you?
    Sheldon: I am. Yeah, if I’m going to a barren, lifeless environment, where the chances of survival are slim to none, I want you there with me.

& Sheldon: We could be the first to say «Good Lord, what on Mars are you talking about»..."

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