I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

Two and a Half Men 11×2

& Walden: Let’s focus on that word «alone». Having house guests is the best. You know, you get excited to see them. You put out the fluffy towels, you hold your farts, everything’s nice. But eventually, you have to fart.
    Alan: Here’s what you do. You go out on the deck and pretend to look at the ocean, wait for a big wave, and when it breaks, so do you.

& Evelyn: Darling, if you were a child, this would be one of those situations where I would give you five dollars to shut up.
    Alan: I’m not a kid, anymore, Mom.
    Evelyn: How’s 20 sound?

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& Alan: So you want to get back together?
    Lyndsey: Oh, God, no. I just want to have sex with you.
    Alan: Why? And why am I asking?

& Evelyn: I’ll be back by 8:00.
    Marty: That’s after Wheel. I’ll be asleep!
    Evelyn: I’ll make it up to you in the morning.
    Marty: I’m ninety-one-and-a-half! I can’t plan that far ahead!

& Walden: No, Alan’s way more than a roommate. He’s my best friend. Yeah, he was there for me when I was all alone. Hey, he even took me into my own house... You know, him and his stoner son, and his horny mom, and your dead dad. I mean, they’ve really become my family.

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On the IMDb