My Bodacious Vidalia

Two and a Half Men 10×22

& Alan: What happened? Lyndsey and I were supposed to take care of each other... for the rest of our lives. She’d blend my steak so I didn’t have to gum it. I’d change the tennis balls on the bottom of her walker. We could keep track of each other’s moles.
    Walden: That’s a romantic picture.
    Alan: Glad you think so, because now that’s just gonna be you and me.

& Alan: Look at me. When I met Lyndsey, I was a solid six. Now I’m a soft four at best.
    Walden: Really? You thought you were a six?
    Alan: Well, maybe not a Malibu six, but a Walmart six.

---

& Alan: It didn’t matter. No one takes care of themselves when they’re in love. When you have sex in a sweatshirt, you stop doing sit-ups.

& Alan: Hi, I’m Alan. I’m a back doctor, but that doesn’t mean I can’t check out your front.

& Walden: Hey, tell me about that girl last night.
    Alan: Uh, well, she’s a vegetarian.
    Walden: Yeah?
    Alan: And her husband’s a vegetable.

& Walden: You didn’t?!?!...
    Alan: What do you want from me? He was in a coma and she was in a teddy.

--
On the IMDb