8 февр. 2013 г.

The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

The Big Bang Theory 6×15

& Leonard: I don’t know why I avoided the Harry Potter books for so long... These are great. I just started number six.
    Sheldon: That’s a good one. Dumbledore dies in that one.

& Leonard: Why would you say that?!
    Sheldon: You brought up the subject. I contributed an interesting fact on that subject. It’s called the art of conversation. Okay, your turn.

& Sheldon: Because of your lactose intolerance, you switched over to soy milk. Soy contains estrogen-mimicking compounds. I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman.

& Leonard: Screw you, Sheldon! You are the most annoying person I have ever met.
    Sheldon: What? I’m annoying?! You criticize my behavior all the time. “Sheldon, don’t talk about your bowel movements over breakfast.” “Sheldon, when the president of the university is giving a eulogy at a funeral, don’t yawn and point at your watch.” “Sheldon, don’t throw away my shirts ’cause you think they’re ugly.” You’re impossible.

& Sheldon: You pick that up right now!
    Leonard: No.
    Sheldon: Roommate agreement, section 27, paragraph 5: The roommate agreement, like the American flag, cannot touch the ground.

& Sheldon: Leonard, wait!
    Leonard: What?
    Sheldon: Dobby the elf dies in book seven.

& Raj: Did she discover a cure for something?
    Howard: Not exactly... They spent a ton of money developing this dandruff medication that had the side effect of horrible anal leakage.
    Raj: ... Is there a good anal leakage?
    Howard: Anyway, it was Bernie’s idea to rebrand the stuff as a cure for constipation.

& Leonard: I swear, that man is the most egotistical, insufferable human being I have ever met!
    Penny: Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple... Like Burt and Ernie. You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers.

& Leonard: He’s got Amy now.
    Penny: Yeah, he does, but it’s not the same.
    Leonard: Why?
    Penny: Um... Well, um, all right. You-you know how in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Ron didn’t abandon Harry just because Harry started dating Ron’s sister?
    Leonard: Harry and Ginny get together?!?!
    Penny: Sorry. Spoiler alert.


& Leonard: Oh, could you clear off a shelf for me in the bathroom? I take a lot of medicine.
    Penny: Oh, please let some of it be Xanax...

& Mrs. Wolowitz: Are you ready for dessert?
    Raj: No, thank you, Mrs. Wolowitz. As it is, I’m going to have to carry my stomach out of here like I’m a fireman rescuing an infant.

& Raj: I’ve had a lovely time eating your brisket and hearing about the things you’ve had removed from your body over the years...

& Raj: Mrs. Wolowitz, uh... are you okay?
    Mrs. Wolowitz: Don’t mind me. I just cry when I’m lonely and have nothing to live for.

& Sheldon: ...If a person like that existed, I would sign on, no further questions asked.
    Amy: Great. Here I am!
    Sheldon: Wait...... Here who is where?

& Amy: What do you think?
    Sheldon: Um...
    Amy: Tell me one reason why this isn’t a fantastic idea.
    Sheldon: Um...
    Amy: See? You can’t! I’m gonna go see if Leonard’s room is big enough for my water bed.
    Sheldon: Um...

& Sheldon: Good buddy Leonard. Good buddy Leonard. Good buddy Leonard.

& Leonard: Penny and I are very happy living together. Isn’t that right?
    Penny: It’s like the happiness won’t ever leave the apartment.

& Penny: Well, maybe he doesn’t know how to say it without hurting her feelings.
    Sheldon: Feelings? What am I, a hippie at a love-in? No.

& Leonard: Spoiler alert: This door’s about to slam in your face.

& Amy: When do I get a key to our apartment?
    Sheldon: Um...

& Howard: You wore my pajamas?!
    Raj: Mm-hmm. How do you sleep in these things? Silk pajamas on satin sheets? I slid out of the bed, like, three times.

& Howard: Okay, Raj, listen to me. You need to get out of there!
    Raj: But I have a cream sherry hangover and I smell blintzes...
    Howard: If you don’t leave now, she’ll use food and guilt to keep you there for the rest of your life.
    Raj: Oh, Howard, stop.
    Howard: Trust me, you’re not Jewish. That’s how they get you.
    Raj: You’re being silly. I can leave whenever I want.
    Howard: Oh, really? Where are your clothes and your shoes?
    Raj: They’re on the chair, right over... Oy vey.

& Penny: The truth is I don’t want him living with me.
    Sheldon: Great. Kick him out. Break his heart. Everybody wins.

& Bernadette: We should have just done it the regular way. Those Chinese acrobats in Cirque du Soleil made it look so easy...
    Howard: Honestly, if I could bend that far, what would I need with you?
    Bernadette: If you could bend that far, you’d be doing us both a favor.

& Bernadette: Should we go back and rescue him?
    Howard: It’s too late. We’ll see him at his Bar Mitzvah.

& Sheldon: Amy, are you worried that us living together will take the mystery out of our relationship?
    Amy: No.
    Sheldon: Yeah, why would you?

& Amy: You give me one good reason why I can’t live here!
    Sheldon: ... It’s Penny’s fault!

--
On the IMDb

Σ Very good one.

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