3 февр. 2013 г.

The Cooper/Kripke Inversion

The Big Bang Theory 6×14

& Leonard: Sheldon, your food’s getting cold.
    Sheldon: I’ll eat later. Right now, I’m suckling at the informative bosom of mother physics.
    Penny: It’s hot when Sheldon talks dirty.

& Raj: Say hello to an exact scale model of me... Oh, I’m not dark chocolate! I’m melt-in-your-mouth caramel.
    Howard: Oooh, man... Look at my nose!
    Leonard: Maybe it’s a shipping problem.
    Howard: What?
    Leonard: Yeah. Maybe Wesley Snipes and Toucan Sam just got action figures that look like you guys.

& Leonard: Look at my face. Do I look smug? I feel smug.

& Leonard: Oh, no!
    Penny: What is that?
    Leonard: That is Sheldon’s “I’m unhappy and about to destroy the planet” music.

& Penny: You doing okay, sweetie?
    Sheldon: There is ominous music playing, and there is an afghan over my head. I don’t know where you’re from, but where I’m from, that means I’m not doing okay.

& Kripke: What the frig, Cooper? We were supposed to meet in my office a half an hour ago!
    Sheldon: And yet, now you’re in my office. Point: Cooper. Welcome to the Thunderdome, Kripke.

& Amy: Sheldon, what’s going on?
    Sheldon: I read his research, and... it’s leaps and bounds ahead of mine. Which means the mommy of the smartest physicist at the university is not my mommy as I had thought... It’s his mommy!

& Amy: Sheldon, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better... May I offer you a consoling hug?
    Sheldon: What do we have to lose?
    Amy: ..... How’s that?
    Sheldon: I feel like I’m being strangled by a boa constrictor. ... Why’d you stop?!


& Howard: Do you realize, by owning a 3-D printer, we are reclaiming the manufacturing process and taking jobs back from sweatshops in China?
    Raj: I think this thing was made in China.
    Howard: Eh, what can you do?

& Raj: It worked! We printed a whistle.
    Howard: Amazing. You realize these things go for 25 cents a pop at a party store.
    Raj: And we made it in only three hours!

& Kripke: Cooper, we have a problem. Your work is really not at a level I expected it to be.
    Sheldon: I know... Go ahead, mock me. Just use small words so I understand.

& Kripke: Don’t play dumb with me. We both know what your problem is.
    Sheldon: We do?
    Kripke: You have a girlfriend.
    Sheldon: So?
    Kripke: So my work would suffer, too, if I was getting laid all the time.
    Sheldon: Y-Yes. That is the reason. My work is suffering because of... all the laid I’m getting.

& Howard: Say hello to my little friend.
    Bernadette: Oh, my God! That’s so cute! I didn’t think there could be a smaller version of you.

& Bernadette: Howie, we can’t afford to waste money on junk like this.
    Howard: What are you talking about? We make plenty of money.
    Bernadette: I make plenty of money! You make peanuts!

& Howard: We’re married now. That means, when you get sick, I take care of you. And when you make a bunch of money... I get to buy stuff. Sorry if you don’t like it, but that’s how love works.
    Bernadette: No, here’s how love works. You’re gonna return the machine, or you can print out a working set of lady parts and sleep with those! ... Oh, my God! Are you actually thinking about it?

& Sheldon: If Kripke asks, tell him my coitus with Amy is frequent, intense and whimsically inventive.
    Leonard: ..... Is my coitus whimsically inventive?
    Penny: That is what I write on the bathroom walls. “For a whimsically inventive time, call Leonard Hofstadter.”

& Penny: Sheldon, can I ask you a question?
    Sheldon: Of course.
    Penny: You ever going to sleep with Amy?

& Penny: Okay. Hang on. Are you saying someday you and Amy might... actually get physical?
    Sheldon: ........... It’s a possibility.
    Penny: Oh! My! God! Sheldon, I know this wasn’t easy for you, and I’m really glad we could have this conversation.
    Sheldon: Oh, yeah.

& Kripke: You get any last night?
    Sheldon: Yes.
    Kripke: Gave it to her good, huh?
    Sheldon: No, I gave it to her well.

& Kripke: You guys ever use any toys?
    Sheldon: Toys?.. I do have a model rocket next to my bed.
    Kripke: A rocket? You’re a freak! I love it!

--
On the IMDb

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