The Red Team

Elementary 1×13

& Holmes: There may be a pattern here. A trail of bread crumbs that leads to a great criminal mind.
    Watson: And how is Napoleon Bonaparte involved?
    Holmes: By my fifth night without sleep, I may have been reaching. What time is it?
    Watson: Uh, it’s 9:30... Wednesday. You slept for two days straight.
    Holmes: That’s why I’m so hungry.

& Holmes: I’m going to visit Swirl-Theory.com and discuss conspiracy theories.
    Watson: Your hobby is conspiracy theories?
    Holmes: No, of course not. They’re pure sophistry. Large groups of people cannot keep secrets. My hobby is conspiracy theorists. I adore them.

& Holmes: Have you ever heard anyone say the CIA invented crack cocaine?
    Watson: I have.
    Holmes: I started that.

& Watson: Oh, are you taking Clyde?
    Holmes: He will starve if we leave him here.
    Watson: Oh, I didn’t know you liked tortoises.
    Holmes: I love them. They make an absolutely delicious soup stock.

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& Watson: So, what are you saying, the government was bugging Len Pontecorvo? I thought there was no such thing as conspiracies?
    Holmes: Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, Watson.

& Watson: And-and how does the head of lettuce fit in?
    Holmes: Oh, thank you. I nearly forgot. Can’t make soup out of Clyde until I fatten him up, Watson.
    Watson: That’s sick.

& Holmes: Just so I’m understanding you correctly, neither of you believe that Neil Armstrong walked on the moon?
    Gary Sullivan: Of course not! That’s not the issue. The issue is who staged the fake landing.

& Holmes: I’m smarter than everyone I meet, Watson. I know it’s bad form to say that, but in my case, it’s a fact.

& Holmes: What is this place? NSA? CIA? Army Intelligence?
    Todd Clarke: We do market research.

& Holmes: My name is Sherlock Holmes. I am a temporarily suspended consultant for the NYPD. This is Joan Watson. She keeps me from doing heroin. And you would be?

& Watson: Well, that was either a waste of time, or I’m gonna be audited every year for the rest of my life.

& Watson: No cabbie is gonna stop if you blow a whistle at them.
    Holmes: Cabs have been hailed this way for decades because this is the most efficient way to hail a cab.

& Holmes: Can you keep a secret, Mr. Dresden? Most people say yes when you ask them that, but all they really want is for you to give them the dish.

& Dresden: So... What’s the plan?

& Captain Gregson: How did you figure that out?
    Holmes: I thought very quickly and very carefully.
    Captain Gregson: You mean you guessed?
    Holmes: Well... I had a notion as to the Red Team’s strategy, I just... chose the most likely one. Gun to one’s head, very powerful stimulus.

& Watson: Are you eating soup?
    Holmes: I was hungry.
    Watson: Please tell me you didn’t cook Clyde.
    Holmes: ... The soup is split pea.

& Holmes: These are magnificent creatures. Clyde will likely outlive both of us... You didn’t really think I would eat him, did you?

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